Friday, July 04, 2008

Independence Day at Casa Onassis



Here is how we are celebrating Independence Day at my house.

My daughter is here and we only left the house once to go pick up her niece.

We didn't buy any fireworks.

We're not going anywhere to see any fireworks.

Last year we tried to see fireworks. Picked a spot across the highway where we would be able to see the World's of Fun fireworks. The area we selected turned out to be populated by the most hillbilly, white trash, rednecks I'd seen since moving out of Ray County. Empty beer bottles were rolling down the street and unsupervised children were setting off fireworks dangerously close to cars and to each other while the parents drank and argued.

I decided then that two things were true. One is that Independence Day seems to bring out a "certain element" of our great society that I would rather avoid. Two, there isn't any celebration or circumstance where bringing drunks and explosives together is a good idea. Unless you are intentionally blowing up drunks.

Given our complete failure to live up to the ideals and values expressed by our founding fathers, and enshrined in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, I don't see much to celebrate.

I'm not alone in that assessment.

"(CNN) -- How would the likes of Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin feel about the way the United States has turned out 232 years after declaring its independence?

Most Americans say they're proud to be citizens, but most also think the Founding Fathers wouldn't be pleased.

Not pleased, a majority of Americans recently polled said.

According to a new CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey, 69 percent of adult Americans who responded to a poll June 26-29 said the signers of the Declaration of Independence would be disappointed by the way the nation has turned out overall."


Maybe I'll feel more like celebrating next year when President Obama has Secretary of State Bill Richardson shuttling around the globe attempting to repair some of the damage that the current administration has caused.

But in the meantime, we are hunkered down at Casa Onassis. Avoiding the drunks with explosives, avoiding the stench of cordite, avoiding the sobriety check points, avoiding the ambulances rushing maimed children to the emergency room, and enjoying a nice, quiet evening at home.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the menu. No hamburgers on the grill (we had those last night), no hot dogs (ground up pig anus' shoved into intestinal casings give me gas something awful), no apple pie topped with vanilla ice cream (trying to lose weight).

No, per my daughter's request, I am about to go downstairs and fix TACOS! Ya know that stuff that those illegal aliens who are trying to destroy America eat. Hell, I might even throw in a little refried beans and spanish rice in the mix, what with it being a special holiday and all.

¡El Día feliz de la Independencia, las rameras!

P.S. I used freetranslation.com to translate "Happy Independence Day, bitches!" into Spanish (which is what you see above). But I always like to "retranslate" things just to see how they come out. Translated from Spanish back to English, the above text reads "The happy Day of the Independence, the prostitutes!" I guess you get what you pay for!

Have fun, my friends.

9 comments:

meesha.v said...

First of all 99 percent of Americans have been taught BS about about the founding fathers and have no idea how they will feel about anything. For example, in Boston I learned that no one yelled "The British are coming" but it's in my kid's history book.
Secondly, the idea about fixing international damage is just strange. Every country pulls in its own best interest and doesn't make any sacrifices to make other countries feel better. Bush is a moron and has no diplomatic skills but American president shouldn't make any concessions to please other nations.And lastly, no matter who the president is, the next 4 years will suck so keep up the hope.But here is a good ol' American story to make you feel better.

Xavier Onassis said...

meesha - "...the idea about fixing international damage is just strange. Every country pulls in its own best interest and doesn't make any sacrifices to make other countries feel better. Bush is a moron and has no diplomatic skills but American president shouldn't make any concessions to please other nations."

I disagree.

We all live on this planet together. We have to find a way to get along, respect each other's differences, and move forward in a way where everyone can succeed.

Stomping around the planet like an arrogant bully, not giving a flying fuck what anyone else thinks, invading other countries, hanging their presidents, destroying their infrastructure, being completely ignorant and insensetive to the indigenous culture, taking prisoners and holding them for the better part of a decade while denying them any access to due process, engaging in torture, running secret prisons in other countries all seems a bit heavy handed to me.

So, yeah. I think we have some damage to repair. Because everything we have been doing for the past 8 years just pisses and shits all over everything that our Founding Fathers believed in.

After they leave office, I think Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Rice and Addington should be required to visit the grave and family of every single soldier killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and explain to the family why the world is a better place because their child is dead.

I would love to have a camera crew following that tour.

Jeff said...

this is appropriate:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/04/captain-america-fuck.html

Patchchord said...

Xavier, do you realize that you just patriotically celebrated the 4th? Dissent is just as American as blindly swallowing political dogma. Well done!

Xavier Onassis said...

patchcord - Yes, I do realize that. The problem is that so many others fail to grasp that simple point.

Patchchord said...

These are the same folks that thought it was more important to vote for the next American Idol than participate in every election since 2000. Whaddya gonna do, right?

Satyavati devi dasi said...

Here at the ashram we celebrated quietly: I went to work and we didn't go anywhere when I came home because gas is too f'n expensive to drive.

We watched TV for a little while and I got to hear lots of those saccharine quotes from people talking about how we wouldn't be able to do X if someone hadn't died for our freedom.

I'm not knocking the sacrifices that military people make for whatever reasons they make them. But I am saying that sometimes this flag waving makes me want to hurl.

I can't in honesty understand how people can claim that the servicepeople in this Iraq thing have died for anyone's freedom. They died because an asshole told lies so that he could get permission to send them over there and die.

I'm not a hundred percent on this but I kinda think the whole Iraq war thing has never had a lot to do with anyone's freedom. It's had a lot to do with money and a lot to do with GWB's personal issues. I feel fairly certain that even if not one of those servicepeople had died over there in this particular war I'd still have just as much freedom as I did before.

I'm not slamming these people. I wouldn't do what they do. I'm very glad I don't have to do what they do, and very glad I never made decisions years ago that would require me to say I've changed my mind.

I'm slamming the people who make them go do it, and the misguided pride that makes us all to whatever degree participants in the group delusion that America's #1 and we can run faster build bigger do more and better than the whole rest of the world just by virtue of being Americans.

Shit, I'm feeling like it's about time for us to have another revolution.

travel said...

I don't believe there is anything I could say that would give me enough satisfaction in responding to this post, except this:

God Bless America.

Anonymous said...

Who cares what pedophile Thomas Jefferson would have thought? Who cares what slave-owning presidents would have felt? Many of the founding fathers were perverts. This is why our country is falling apart. God says, "Vengeance is mine!". Do you think He forgot? Between killing and then imprisoning the American Indian in reservations, then having the Chinese building the railroads, to enslaving thousands of people stolen from their homeland (Africa), is it any wonder there are so many tornados, fires, and floods here? You reap what you sow, the bible warns. Voting for Obama might help though. Reparations paid in full!