For Fiery

That sultry atheist Fiery tagged me for this meme.

Well, I was a second-string tag because she knows I don't do very many memes. Anymore. Somewhat of a recovering memer.

And since my chicken pot pie won't be ready for another 19 minutes, what the fuck? Let's kill some time together.

1---Soda v. Pop. ~ I don't really make this distinction. All I drink is Diet Coke, so that's how I refer to it. Unless I'm being clever and witty, in which case I call it a Sody Pop! Which again, is no distinction. Is this the longest answer anyone hase ever given to this simple, binary, solution set? Because I could go on. There are cultural differences between yankees and southerners. All sorts of cultural nuances around this first question. But in the interest of time (pot pie done in 15 minutes), I'll stop. Let's move on.

2---Regular v. Diet Soda. ~ Um, see above. Next!

3---Diet Coke v. Diet Pepsi. ~ What the fuck? Are you, NASA? All "triple redundancy"? Asked and answered! Move along!

4---Beer v. Wine. ~ Fucking pussys. Neither. Bourbon.

5---White Wine v. Red Wine. ~ Jesus H. Christ in a Chicken Basket! Do you hear the words coming out of my mouth? BOURBON!

6---Panty v. Underwear. ~ Panty for wimmins, Underwear for doods.

7---Thong v. Other. ~ Thong for WILFs, Other for all the rest.

8---Silk v. Cotton. ~ Silk, baby!

9---Boxers v. Briefs. ~ White Cotton BVD Briefs up until my last divorce. Now I'm all about the silk boxers!

10---McDonald's v. Burger King. ~ Burger King! Although the Burger King guy in the commercials CREEPS ME THE FUCK OUT! But then so does a clown who hangs around kids.

11---Chocolate v. Vanilla. ~ Duh! Chocolate! The synonyms for "vanilla" are plain, boring, generic, yada, yada, yada. The synonym for "chocolate" is "ORGASM!" You do the math!

12---Sweet v. Savory. ~ How is this even a distinction? I call SHENANIGANS! Trick Question!

13---Plaid v. Solids. ~ Solids unless you are Scottish and can prove it by producing documentation and eating haggis without projectile vomiting.

14--- Flats v. Heels. ~ I really prefer flats. Heels give me a ba-donka-donk.

15---Automatic v. Stick Shift. ~ Stick! Automatics are for cell phone chatting pussys!

16---Black v. White. ~ Black as my cold, dead heart!

17---Cursive v. Printing. ~ Printing!

18---Length v. Girth. ~ I got both. Can't be separated. Deal with it! (what you just read was hollow male bravado unsupported by physical evidence. I'm XO and I approved this message.)

19---Butter v. Margarine. ~ Butter BABY!

20---Paula Dean v. Rachel Ray. ~ I'd do 'em both. At the same time. With butter.

Are we done here? Can I go eat now?