Saturday, October 10, 2009

I'm Not A Planner. I'm A Doer.

I feel bad when my friends invite me to do things with them because I can't make social commitments.

I love my friends, I enjoy spending time with them. But I have no fucking idea what I'll feel like doing a week from now. I don't know what I'll want to do an hour from now.

That's not the way I live my life and it's not fair to them.

I don't have a calendar. I don't make "plans". I hate the whole idea of a calendar and obligations.

I just do things. That's how I roll.

Today I slept till 9am, woke up and realized there was some shit going on that sounded fun and made a last minute executive decision to get out of the house.

A conservative "Tea Party" at the Liberty Memorial and a Zombie Walk on the Plaza.

These events were preceded by an equally last minute decision to take my daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis, and her friend Natasha to lunch at Little Richards where it was revealed that although GTO refuses to acknowledge that I am in the least bit cool, all of her friends think that I am VERY cool. SCORE!

Before lunch I sent an emergency alert to my normal partner in crime, Absolutely Feisty, to let her know that there was an impromptu "shiny day" afoot and I required my sidekick. But alas, she was immersed in family business deep in the uncharted wilds of Ray County and unavailable for shenanigans, so I was forced to go stag on this expedition.

I wanted to check out the Tea Party to see how big a crowd they attracted and take pictures of people clinging to guns, religion and stupid signs.

But I did a drive-by and I didn't see ANYBODY. No cars, no crowds, no people...nothing! So much for the Tea Party movement. That fizzled out pretty fast! I didn't even get a chance to make fun of them.

So I headed for the Plaza. It's more entertaining to watch mindless, undead meat-puppets shuffle around moaning "BRAINS!" than it is watching them foam at the mouth screaming "SOCIALISM!" anyway.

Since you couldn't be there, I took lots of pictures for your viewing pleasure. As always, click to embiggen!

Doesn't the zombie on the left look a bit like Jim Glover?

This next guy wins the "I just slapped together some shit from Halloween Express and called it good enough" Award.

This guy reminded me of Nightmare from Nevins & Nightmare on Black Sky Radio.

Pretty sure this was a dude in zombie-drag, but I slipped it my phone number anyway. I'm so lonely.

This was fucking AWESOME! A chick dressed as a vet who put fake blood on her dogs neck and trained it to play dead! A zombie vet with a zombie pet! Hilarious!

Here we have a corpse bride thing going on. Very creative. By the way, this is what it feels like to be married. Just sayin'.

A guy with a CD driven through his skull and his zombie cowgirl girlfriend. Okay. No fucking idea.

The obligatory zombie Elvis. Not bad. Although the fact that there was no zombie Jesus at this event makes me very sad. He was probably busy listening to the prayers of zombie babies.

I think these were zombie lesbians. At least they are in my Happy Place.

Then you had your zombie Prom Queen.

And your dowdy, intestine eating, zombie housewife. Heh heh. Aren't they all? Did I say that out loud? Fuck!

Once the zombies were assembled, the next stop was the zombie re-enactment of the Micheal Jackson "Thriller" video.

I love this next chick, for obvious reasons!

After the Thriller dance came the actual walking of the zombies.

Look out! It's the Snuggie Zombies with their brain eatin Remote Controls! AAAGGGHHH!!!

All sports fans are zombies by definition so this isn't all that scary.

The end of the zombie walk. Wait! What is this?

The entire days worth of effort was worth it for this picture.


wrytir said...

Brilliant, sir. Fantastic shots. I haven't been yet, but based on this, will be sure to venture out next year, assuming the zombie-inducing plague doesn't reach us by then, making the walk moot, an actual zombie pride parade, in which case we'll all be zombies looking for a fun place to gather, feast and smash store windows only to be discomfited by the unappealing texture and flavor of mannequins.

Note: Watching stand-up comedy routines all night makes for ridiculous run-on sentences. *taking a breath*

I Travel for JOOLS said...

Different strokes....

A Librarian said...

Why isn't it fair to your friends? I never mind:-P

A Librarian said...

Oh yeah.....braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiins!

cookinghamjr said...

Fun post!

Hmmm. Zombie walk is movin' uptown from Westport.

Next time they need to zombiefy the PF Chang's Horses.

Xavier Onassis said...

A Librarian - It feels unfair because if you ask a friend if they'd like to come over for dinner and you give them a week's notice, it isn't unreasonable to expext that they should be able to give you a straight up yes or no answer.

Yet I don't seem to be able to do that.

Donna said...

What Jools said.

You're a strange man indeed. But then, I don't get out much.