Tuesday, February 23, 2010

No Glasses For You!

So, I'm 54 years old, and the list of things I can't see worth a shit is growing beyond my ability to self-medicate via store bought reading glasses.

I've got reading glasses scattered all over my house and my office. I can't read a goddamn thing without glasses.

I doubt that any of them are the same strength and I strongly suspect that I'm causing myself more harm than good.

Everytime I get a text message on my phone, I have to put on my fucking reading glasses.

Anytime I want to send a text, I have to put on my fucking reading glasses.

It's as annoying as fuck.

Since my eyesight is obviously failing like a motherfucker, I make an appointment with an optomitrist. I want some stylish fucking glasses that correct my overall vision problems across the board so I don't have to keep self-medicating with Walmart reading glasses scattered all over the fucking place.

So Dr. Eyeballs does his shit and guess what? I have 20/20 vision! I don't need prescription lenses.

The only thing wrong with my eyes is that I'm 54 fucking years old and I need reading glasses just like every one else my age!

Worst case, I would have looked more like this...

and less like this...

Either way, would have been a win/win.

But now it's back to square one. I have perfect vision.

Fuck my life

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Life is a bitch and then you need glasses... Keep going!
Don Jaun's W-reckless Daughter