Saturday, December 11, 2010

Burning Bridges

My 2nd wife and I were married for almost 10 years. From 1993 to 2002.

The life-long friends that I brought into the marriage, friends dating back to high school and even grade school, became part of our network of shared relationships.

When she betrayed the trust in our relationship with one of the members of that network, our marriage imploded and never recovered. We divorced.

In my opinion, you only get one shot at trust. When it's betrayed, it's gone forever.

In the aftermath of the divorce, I made a conscious decision to make a clean break with everything and everyone in my life that had existed prior to that.

The only exemptions were my daughter and my first wife.

Everyone else was dead to me.

Occasionally, someone from the Old Days will find me and want to reconnect.

Sadly, it's generally people who had nothing to do with "The Unpleasantness" and are innocent.

But a clean break is a clean break and I have no desire to reconnect with anyone and take any walks down Memory Lane.

So here's the rule.

If we were friends prior to 2002, we're probably not friends any more and we never will be again.

It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong, it's just a personal choice I've made.

I have new friends now.

I'll never go back.

Good Bye, Good Luck and have a nice life.


Anonymous said...

Well fuck all I can say is I hope to hell you dont get married again... ever because your BFF would be heart broken to lose your friend ship and THAT my friend would be poking the BEAR SO IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR STUCK WITH US (There I know that made you smile )
and Im glad I know you now and not then lol

emawkc said...

Dang. With friends like you, who needs frienemies?

Donna said...

Wow. That even scares me, and I'm a loner from way back. But we all have to create our own boundaries, so you do what you must.

Poodles said...


Xavier Onassis said...

Anonymous (not so anonymous): My BFF and you mean more to me than any of the "friends" I cut loose. Because I know when the shit hits the fan, you will all be there. They won't. Fuck 'em. LUMI!

Xavier Onassis said...

Donna - I have developed a more precise and dependable definition of who I can depend on and who can depend on me.

I Travel for JOOLS said...

My now deceased husband had an affair over 20 years ago with "a friend". I was devastated. Well, last fall, after all these years and my husband's passing, who shows up at my door but the husband of the "friend". I was stunned. Hadn't seen the dude for over 20 years! Had a weird conversation for about 1/2 hour -how are you, what have you been doing, etc. To say I was uncomfortable is an understatement. He leaves and I'm relieved. A couple of days later the phone rings. It's him. I say, to tell you the truth, I was devastated by that affair and I don't want any memory of it and cannot understand why you are contacting me ! He says well just keeping in touch with old friends but I guess he got the message because I haven't heard from him since. Unbelievable!

I know where you're coming from!

Anonymous said...

Wow, thats nuts, hip guy.

Get some counseling.

And anyway, you are an arrogant jackoff so its no big loss to those peoople I am sure.

Xavier Onassis said...

Anon - I don't need any counseling and I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut whether "those people" view it as a loss or not.

I made a decision to make a clean break with the past and I've never regretted it.

There will be no reconcilliations or reconnections.

That door is closed.