Sunday, July 03, 2011

A Biblical Account of God's Brutal, Anonymous, Gay Rape of a Polygamist

If any of you bible-thumpers can come up with an explanation of this passage from Genesis that doesn't have Jacob sending his 2 wives (tell me again what the traditional, biblical definition of marriage is?) and other family members away so that God can brutally ass-rape Jacob and send him home limping from the experience, I'd love to hear it.

GENESIS 33:22 - The same night he rose and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.
23 - He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that they had.
24 - And Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.
25 - When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob's thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.
26 - Then he said 'Let me go, for the day is breaking.' But Jacob said, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'
27 - And he said to him. 'What is your name?' And he said 'Jacob.'
28 - Then he said, 'Your name shall no more be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.'
29 - Then Jacob asked him, 'Tell me, I pray, what is your name.' But he said 'Why is it that you ask my name?' And there he blessed him.
30 - So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying 'For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.'
31 - The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his thigh.

11 comments:

Superdave said...

Sounds to me like a drunken dream after having some bad ass grape juice.

The Bible is full of many things that make no sense and leaves a person going WTF.

I use to be a very into the church thing years ago till as with anything I do I am either a part of it or not. The more I studied the Bible, God and Religion the more I had to stand back and say you people are buying all this.

Now if you think religion helps you in dealing with life then by all means be a part of it. I am just one who discovered I can live without it being a force in my life as well.

To be honest I find that a lot of things written about God show him as an evil mean ass person. Funny that’s how the so called lovers of religion want you to view the Devil or Satan or any person that God wants you to believe is bad really is evil.

Remember a lot of these writings were done back in a time when people thought the world was flat and a flying dragon would cook your ass with fire. Oh and don't forget the Wizards, Sorcerer's and Witches who roamed the earth as well back then.

And last but not least most so called Bible thumpers hate war but I guess ignore the time of the Crusades. Religion is thought to be opposed to violence and a force for peace and reconciliation. But the history and scriptures of the world's religions tell stories of violence and war as they speak of peace and love.

So a scene of anal rape down by the river.........sounds believe able to me if you look at all the rest of religion.

Superdave said...

Ok I just found a version I like as well explaining what the passage means.

HAHAHAHAHA in short God or an Angel since it never has been real clear who it was low balled Jacob or in short kicked him in the nuts.

"The hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint - What this implies is difficult to find out; it is not likely that it was complete luxation of the thigh bone. It may mean no more than he received a stroke on the groin, not a touch; for the Hebrew word נגע naga often signifies to smite with violence, which stroke, even if comparatively slight, would effectually disable him for a time, and cause him to halt for many hours, if not for several days. I might add that in this place - the groin, a blow might be of fatal consequence; but as the angel gave it only as a proof of his power, and to show that he could not prevail because he would not, hence the blow was only disabling, without being dangerous; and he was probably cured by the time the sun arose."

Keith Sader said...

Here XO, I'll let Betty Bowers explain to you what a traditional Bible-based marriage is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw

Xavier Onassis said...

Keith - Thank you for introducing me to my next ex-wife! I LOVE that woman!

Joe said...

I must be tired today, where do you get ass rape out of those quotes?

Nick said...

Wasn't there an mule in there somewhere?

Xavier Onassis said...

Joe - Like everything in the Bible, it requires some interpretation. Let me put it this way. If you and I spend the night twisted up in a drunken wrestling match on the river bank, I wake up limping, and you tell me it's because you "touched" me in the "hollow of my thigh", I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you fucked me in my ass. Just for the record? I'm not gonna be OK with that. Just sayin'.

sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Xavier, just because you may have been fucked in the ass does not mean that is what this story is about.

I think you are projecting, and have given away a little secret.

Besides that, you are one anti semitic fuck.


Sick Of Goy Assholes

Anonymous said...

You're an ass.

Anonymous said...

You are an ass...there is
NO Genesis 33:22, IT IS Genesis 32:22. If you are going to pontificate about such things, at least get your verses correct. God knows your interpitation are not.