Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Under The Bridge...No One Can Hear You Scream

So, the other day I was under the Liberty Bend bridges over the Missouri River taking pictures for this post.

I've been under those bridges before, many times. But this time, I made the mistake of looking up. Holy fuck!

Apparently hornets REALLY, REALLY like the undersides of bridges. Here is what I saw.


Here is what it felt like.


They were EVERYWHERE!


Keep in mind, these pictures were taken under the brand new southbound span that is only 6 years old!




I admit to feeling an irrational fear that the flash from my camera would awaken an angry hoard of billions of hornets that would descend on me in a vengeful, swarming, black cloud of painful death.



I'm glad it was January. I don't know that I would want to stand there taking these pictures in August.


Even dead and empty they seem darkly threatening.



But not threatening enough to keep drunk rednecks from intentionally pissing them off with paintball rifles for their own amusement.


Fucking rednecks. Get ready for it! SQUEAL!

26 comments:

Super Dave said...

XO I am more than positive those are swallow nests.

Hornets nest sort of like that but that isn't what those are.

Xavier Onassis said...

Super Dave - Thank you for

A:) COMPLETELY RUINING MY ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG POST!!!

and

B:) Making it safe for me to go back there again.

Goddamn spooky fucking swallows!

Faith said...

I was gonna say the same thing as Super Dave. Everywhere I lived in California had a problem with swallows building their dirty little nests (mud, sticks, shit - OH MY!) right over main walkways at schools, shopping centers, churches, etc...

Everyplace except San Juan Capistrano, of course. Where the swallows stopped returning to sometime around 1982, I believe it was*. Doesn't stop us from having a parade every year all the same, though! :D

I can see how that might've been a frightening sight initially, though.

*This is my own depicition of history, as I know it. All I know is, we went to the mission in San Juan (which was my church when I was in high school) one year for the Swallow's Day celebration, and saw maybe 1 of those birds there all together. ONE. Cross my heart.

Super Dave said...

Swallows can be more a pain in the ass than the hornets. Hornets are as a rule leave you alone if you leave the nest alone. Swallows will buzz your ass. I mean you did see the Birds by Hitchcock right?

Yes I know I fuck things up once in a while.

Xavier Onassis said...

Faith - I remember the swallows of San Juan Capistrano phenomena. I don't think I knew that it had stopped. 1982? Was it a Reagan thing?

Xavier Onassis said...

I have an irrational fear of flying, stinging insects.

I once lost control of my jeep and flew across 4 lanes of 291 traffic 3 grassy medians and an outer road before coming to a halt all because there was a bumble bee in my vehicle.

And bumble bees are relatively harmless compared to hornets.

So, yeah.

sue hanes said...

XO - Scary - certainly.



Do you have any idea - XO - how many times I have watched Alien/
Aliens/even Aliens 3 a few times.


But you can have Alien Resurrection - although it did have its moments I must say.

sue hanes said...

XO - Hitchcock' The Birds.



Now there's a Classic.

Byron said...

XO, I always enjoy your pictures, but the one on the right of The President as a little boy ... is it legal &/or ethical for me to copy it to my computer? Would you mind? What about the ones you take yourself?

My geographical isolation is compounded by my near blindness, & images on my computer are all I can really see very well. BTW, those were not adult possums, they were 'yearlings'. They were probably killed by their mother. Anyway, that's my best guess, though I did like your answer. I'm always amazed by people who can think up stuff like that.

sue hanes said...

Byron - I am sorry if you are Really near Blindness.

I fear Blindness becasue my mother has Macular Degeneration - and it is Hereditary.

However - it can be controlled and I don't believe that she will go Blind.

I need to see so that I can read Music and Paint.

And my worst Fear is that I would go Blind and have to Live in the Darkness with the Person I Detest -not that I'm not already Living there at Present.

You sound like an Intelligent Person - Byron.

Who's that ih you Profile Picture?

Byron said...

Hi Sue, first the man in the picture is Lord Nelson.

I was born with a genetic defect in my left eye. The right eye was fine, but a bad eye weakens the good eye. Also, my eyes don't focus, so I have double vision, which means no depth perception. With really thick glasses I could get by when I was younger. I even tried to play basketball. I'm 6'7". Because I tried really hard I even made the team at a small school, but I wasn't very good, because I couldn't shoot very well. The vision slowly got worse over time (the doctors told me it would) & accelerated when I reached forty. I get by on the computer because I can touch type (which is similar to playing the piano) & I can 'zoom' everything as much as I need to see it clearly. It might be difficult to learn new songs, but you should be able to play songs you know by heart. As for painting, some people say that Van Gough was visually challenged (see Starry Night). I suggest that you not squint, but rather paint exactly what you see, exactly as you see it.

But, if I may be so bold, your biggest problem is that you live with someone you detest. There is no reason to do that. Its better to live at a homeless shelter, than to live with a bully. Life is too short, to tolerate unhappiness. Please, seek what help is available & free yourself. There are many people & organizations that will help you start over on your own. You just have to reach out to them & ask. There are shelters just for women who are trying to escape a dreadful situation. Don't fear economic uncertainty & don't cling to possessions. RUN AWAY NOW.

Xavier Onassis said...

Byron - I poached the picture of Obama as a child from someone/somewhere else so I can't really get indignant if you want to poach it from me.

As far as my pictures go, I do retain the copywrite. If you will ask me before you copy them I will probably say yes as long as you include a link back to the blog post where they originally appeared.

Byron said...

Thanks, XO. I don't have a blog of my own & probably won't start one. I don't write very well. If I copied any of your pictures it would just be for wallpaper on my computer & wouldn't be shared with anyone. I'm only poaching The President's picture for now. My mother always said that we were descendents of General Sherman, & I like our president very much.

Xavier Onassis said...

Byron - If you just want to use them as a background on your own computer without sharing them, and if I can't even spell "copyright" properly, you are free to use them on your desktop.

Aquarians Love To Cuddle said...

Dearest Byron,

Do you use the visage of Lord Nelson as your avatar because he was, "mad, bad, and dangerous to know"? That is, he was more byronic than Byron himself?

Byron said...

Dearest Aquarian ...

No, I don't think that way. I'm a chess player, neither a scholar nor artist. It was the only icon on my computer that would work. I decided to live with it because I'm a veteran of the US Navy.

When I volunteered in '74 I filled out the application honestly, & the Seaman looked at me & said, 'Are you trying to get in?' 'Yes, I'm volunteering.' 'Then you are not 6'7", you're 6'6", you did not have childhood asthma, & you are not blind in one eye. You wear corrective lenses.' In boot camp, I had a violent asthma attack & spent three days in the naval hospital. When I recovered, they gave me an honorable discharge & sent me home. Still, I didn't join the legion, don't march in parades & don't tell people 'I'm a Vietnam Veteran'.

Once, when I was homeless, a VA social worker offered to help me. When I explained all of this to her, she said, 'You volunteered during a war, & were discharged through no fault of your own. That's all I need to know.' She helped me get into a senior citizen high rise. Still, when I'm sick, I don't go to the VA (that's for real veterans), I go to a clinic.

Sorry, I'm usually not this wordy, but I don't think deeply, unless I'm trying to solve a puzzle.

sue hanes said...

Byron - I googled Lord Nelson and I like his really cool signature.
If you see someone's signature - you can know more about them.


Your comment about me was intriguing. But running away is not the best idea for me.

Not that long ago I saw one of those u-tube vidoes - and it was one in which a kitten stood up to a doberman.

Now the kitten was not dumb enough to actually go at the doberman - but rather it stood its ground.

And what's more - I am standing my ground. But I am 66 years old so I may have to do more than just stand on my ground - lest it become too late.

I hope you will continue to comment around - Byron.

sue hanes said...

XO - I can relate to your fear of flying insects in the car.

Once I was driving along and there was a very tiny spider on the bottom of my windsheild. I became so panicky that I pulled over to the side of the (country) road and stood outside of the car until I could think what to do.

Some guy drove by and looked at me like I was nuts.

But you know what - XO - I sometimes think that it could cause me to have a serious accident - and I'm glad you weren't hurt.

Byron said...

Sue, there's a famous picture of a kitten hanging from a window seal. The caption reads 'Hang in There Baby'. Nice to meet you, too, as it were. I'm routing for you.

Aquarians Love To Cuddle said...

Mr. Byron,

Jeez, with those infirmities and life experiences, you must be a terrible burden on your loved ones.
Nonetheless, I'm routing for you - and rooting too.

Byron said...

Aquarians ...

I'm not a burden on anyone ...

Byron said...

Aquarian, judging by your screen name & your avatar are we to assume that you're twelve years old. Your summation of Lord Nelson that he was more byronic than Byron shows that while you may be clever, you're stupid. You remind me of the English teacher who summed up Ben Franklin by saying he was a whore. One of the advantages of living in a small town is that you really get it: that its the 'beautiful people' who are the freaks. Homeless people don't have 'loved ones', that's why they're homeless. I've since met someone & we make a home together and it was I who rescued her from 'A Golden Boy' who like almost all handsome men was a serial adulterer. I helped her finish raising her sons. Children should be quiet when adults are speaking.

Aquarians Love To Cuddle said...

Byron said,

".....Aquarian, judging by your screen name & your avatar are we to assume that you're twelve years old....."

Yes.

".....Your summation of Lord Nelson that he was more byronic than Byron shows that while you may be clever, you're stupid....."

I can't be both.
Pick one.

I think if you re-read my comment about the byronic nature of various dead Brits, this time with a higher degree of reading comprehension, you'll find your clever/stupid riposte will be left wanting.

Aquarians Love To Cuddle said...

Lord Byron said,

"....Children should be quiet when adults are speaking....."

Oooops!
I didn't see that.
It'd be best if you ignore my dross as I too believe that declarative statement. Though I might define 'adults' and 'children' differently than you.

sue hanes said...

Byron - I've been getting that
'hang in there' stuff longer than I care to admit - and frankly I think it's just a come on.

I think that in this lifetime it is just an empty promise.

what is a lifetime for if you don't really live it.


And so on..

Faith said...

Holy shit, this comment thread got WEIRD. O_o