Thursday, April 27, 2006

JESUS H. CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!!!


I visited one of my favorite blogs the other day and posted a comment.

Now I'm bogged down in some Vietnam/Iraq-like quagmire trying to respond to all of the moronic, ill-informed responses to my original comment! I don't have time to post on my own blog anymore. Let alone fix supper, do laundry and get a good night's sleep.

I need a fucking exit strategy!

Maybe I should announce that I will withdraw "x" number of my comments by the end of the year? Is that sending mixed signals to The Enemy? Am I giving the Evil-Doers a Roadmap To Victory? Am I conceding defeat?

I don't have time for this shit!

Time for some HUMOR!!

A hotshot New York City lawyer went duck hunting down in South Texas. Before long, the lawyer shoots and drops a bird, but it falls into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer begins to climb over the fence, an elderly farmer drives up on his tractor and asks the lawyer what in the blue blazes he thinks he is doing. The lawyer responds, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old codger replied, “You better hold your horses there sonny. This is my property and you’re not coming over here.”

The lawyer, more than a bit miffed at the old farmer’s gruff attitude, responded, “Look old timer, I’m one of the best trial lawyers in America and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take you to the cleaners.”

The farmer smiles at the lawyer and says, “Apparently you don’t know how we do things down here in Texas. We settle disagreements like this with the Texas three kick rule.”

The lawyer asks, “What in the heck is the Texas three kick rule?”

“Well,” says the farmer, “first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the farmer and agreed to abide by the local custom.

The farmer then slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked over to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped the lawyer to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the lawyer’s nose off of his face. The lawyer was now flat on his back when the farmer’s third kick to the kidney nearly caused the lawyer to give up.

The lawyer then summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot, now it’s my turn.”

To which the old farmer coolly replied, “No, I give up. You can have the duck.”

4 comments:

Rusty said...

Whew!! I just got done reading all the comments. Gotta say I'm with you 100% over there. Just seems like people get their undies in a bunch way too quick nowadays. Keep fighting the good fight!

Happy In Bag said...

Xavier- I'll confess that I hadn't been keeping up with Gone Mild, even though its author seems to be the greatest guy in town. That mess reminds me why I post exclusively about innocuous topics.

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