Sunday, September 10, 2006

Ménage à Trois this weekend!

Yeah, I knew that would get your attention. Pervs!!

And yes, I have, but it wasn't this weekend and that's not what I want to talk about.

This is a Three Topic Post. Hence the "Trois". The "Ménage à" was just a blatant attempt to grab your attention. Worked, didn't it? You're so fucking easy!

1. The Improv at The Majestic Theatre in Zona Rosa. The girlfriend and I went there for the first time on a completely spontaneous fluke Saturday night. Great place, I highly recommend it. It's 20 bucks each just to get in the door, but its worth it. You can get tickets for 18 bucks in advance online if you are a "planner". The cafe food is reasonably priced. Although, there are so many places to eat up there, just eat before you go (we did...Rib Crip is good). It will soften the final tab and give you the illusion of economy. The drinks are kinda...well, let me put it this way; there ain't no "friendly bartender". You order a "double" of something, you will get EXACTLY 2 fucking ounces of your favorite poison. No more, no less. I had two double bourbons and it cost me $17.50. That's like what...over 4 bucks a shot? But I would still encourage you to order doubles. Or two drinks at a time. The place was only half full on a Saturday night, but service was still a bit slow. Bottom line, great venue, top line comedians, eat before you go, great night for between $50-$100 bucks depending on your preferences.

2. Craig Shoemaker. This is the guy who was performing Saturday at The Majestic. I'll be honest, I'd never heard of this guy. The whole night was a crap shoot. Never been to The Majestic, never heard of this guy, let's go have some fun. Oh My God! This guy had us in tears! His Bio lists a movie called "The Lovemaster" which "...costars Farrah Fawcett...". Based on the clip from the movie, I'm guessing "paid cameo from a broke, washed up, saggy titted, has been who would even take a "pearl necklace" from XO for a ride to the laundromat" would be a more accurate description than "costars". But, WTF, he got a lot closer to her than I've ever been, so maybe this is just sour grapes. Ya think? Anyway this guy is great! If you get a chance to see him, do it. Funny shit.

3. The Chiefs Season Opener. OMG That was pathetic. I bought a $2k big screen, HD TV to watch THAT? Luckily, I actually bought it to watch porn, and I'm still OK with that decision. But DAYUM! That was some little league bool shit. This isn't a sports blog, and I'm not a huge sports fan, so I won't go into great detail about what so-and-so should have done or not done. I have no idea. I just know that it was an embarassing game that left me, I don't know...unfulfilled. Plus, that Geathers guy from Cincinnatti just rang Trenton Green's fucking BELL! BAM! Looked like some Louisiana Cajun smacking a frog's head against a rock. Loved the way the broadcasters kept saying that Geathers was playing just like his uncle, "Jumpy Geathers". Now, I had no idea who "Jumpy Geathers" was. But I don't think that's a very good nickname. Sounds like somebody who could just freak out and just slit your throat or stab you in the heart for changing the channel on the TV at Thanksgiving Dinner. Perhaps "Leaping Geathers" would be a bit more descriptive of his athletic prowess. But you stay away from that "Jumpy Geathers"! You don't know what that crazy fucker is likely to do! Stab you in the eye with a chop stick for looking at him funny in the check out line at the Dollar General!


Nightmare said...

I'm going to have to stop talking about football the Friday before a game. I told everyone here at work that the Bengals would win by 14 and that by 1/2 way through the third quarter you would be able to hear a pin drop in Arrowhead. Now I didn't know that it was going to be because Trent Green got knocked the fuck out, but still pretty scary that I would call it like that.

bsmister69 said...

Have you seen that gross billboard of the guy in the men's panties along I-70? I wanted to upload a pic, but didn't know how to do so. The things we advertise for in this country, I swear.