Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Attack Of The Brainless Bush Zombies!!!



Okay. Being nice for a day was fun, but I'm all done now.

I was over slumming at The Kansas City Star's "Unfettered Letters" section today. It's a pretty inbred bunch over there. Same voices, same viewpoints, blah, blah blah. A bunch of people who are in love with the sound of their fingers hitting the keyboard and the illusion they are being "journalists" because it's The Star's Web Site.

Thank God I'm not a cheap attention whore like Those People!!

The published letter was titled "Nothing to do with 9/11" and predictable comments ensued.

One neo-con nimrod (BuddyT) decided to take it upon himself to summarize the viewpoints of Liberals (which he so eloquently and originally labeled as "kookdom") thusly:

"Here are their core beliefs: the war sucks, Bush sucks, America sucks, and lets leave Iraq and let the peacful natives develop a whold new "shangrila-ti-da.." Gag me with a rainbow...."

Seems to me like there should have been a "GET 'R DONE!" in there somewhere. Perhaps he forgot.

In any event, let me return the favor by summarizing the core beliefs of our neo-con, right-wing, philosophical opposites.

Tenet 1: God Almighty, The One And Only TRUE God, The Protestant Christian God, loves America. That's why He created America. He wants the whole world to be just like America. He wants America to take over the world and create a Christian Theocracy with The President Of The United States as the infallible Pope-like leader. He's getting tired of us pussy-footing around about that by trying to do good and lead by example. It's time to start kicking ass and taking names!

Tenet 2: Because America is God's Own Country, we can do no wrong. Whatever America does is inherently good and right. Because we're "The Good Guys". Just like in a John Wayne movie. Our motivations are always pure and our hands are always clean.

Tenet 3: As the leader of America, The (Republican, not Democratic) President is above reproach or criticism. Any thing The (Republican, not Democratic) President does is legal, moral and right. Because he's The (Republican, not Democratic) President and The Office Of The President (as long as it is held by a Republican, not a Democrat) is a Sacred Commission from God Almighty.

Tenet 4: Anyone who disagrees with the previous Holy Tenets, or dares in anyway to blaspheme against The President by criticizing Him in any way shape or form, is a godless, baby-eating, Satanist who hates America, who wants The Terrorists (run screaming) to win, and who, by simply asking a question or casting a shred of doubt, has dipped their filthy hands into the Heroic Blood of Our Brave Fighting Soldiers.

Oh, and, not sure if this is an actual "Tenet" or just a "given", but "The Clintons (all of them, including Chelsea) were created and sent here by Satan Himself to destroy everything good and Holy about America."

That pretty much plumbs the depths of their intellectual Mariana Trench.

Anyone who dares to go beyond those boundries is an Intellectual Elitist.

If I missed anything or painted with a too-broad brush, I'm sure someone will point it out.

4 comments:

Spyder said...

Zombies are bad enough. But Republican zombies! I'll never go to that movie.

crse said...

I cant read or listen to that stuff. I know a man who loves to "debate" me. Ive tried numerous times to explain that a debate involves critical thinking and logic but he sticks firmly to the regurgitation of foxnews regardless of silly things like facts!

satyavati said...

This was a good post. And the wiki link to intellectual elitism was really, really interesting.

I wish people would actually research their beliefs and not just believe them for nothing.

Faith said...

I don't know about the rest of this, but what you say about the Clintons is true. Satan's children, the lot of them. (I mean, have you seen Hillary's hair? GAH!)

I hate any kind of extremist, be them left or right. They tend to be closed-minded biggots, IMO. And they never sound intelligent to me in any way, shape, or form.