Thursday, April 03, 2008

Whoring Myself Out

In regards to my tax situation, I've received several fundraising suggestions.

Spyder thought I should offer my services as a pool boy and even offered to buy an inflatable pool and hire me.

crse suggested fundraising via a PayPal widget thingy on my blog that would allow people to donate money to keep me out of a Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison. I may actually do this. What the hell, right?

nightmare suggested a rent party. Possible. I have some ideas.

kc sponge offered to take a look at "my stuff". That's not really a revenue opportunity. Just an opportunity to show sponge "my stuff". Which I would totally do. But I digress.

However, poodles had the simplest suggestion. That I should just pimp myself out.

So, with gratitude to Greg for the introduction, I present my new pimp.

Airtight Willie.

He my baby daddy!

All parties interested in having their way with me should call Willie at 816-298-0420.

"For parties of 10 or more, an 18% reach-around gratuity will be added to the ticket for your convenience.

Your friend,

Airtight Willie.


crse said...

I really want to dial that number but i just cant risk gill finding out that im calling for male whores who can't pay their taxes again. Im sure this is the answer for you....

Well Hell Michelle said...

You'd make a great male gigolo. And if you show your stuff to Sponge, make sure you charge her.

Dan said...

BTW, on a serious note, the IRS will work out a payment plan if you ask.

Poodles said...

How much is a reach around? Just so I know if it will be worth it to gather 9 friends.

Logtar said...

We'll talk business some other time...

I would not give to paypal, but I would go to a pay party in your honor, I would even help organize it.

Xavier Onassis said...

crse - it's a prank phone number that you hand out in bars to people you don't like. They get a recording telling them they've been punked.

michelle - your confidence is inspiring. To paraphrase the Brown & Cruppen commercial, "I'll keep my promise. I'll make her pay!"

Dan - I am absolutely going to do that.

poodles - I'll give you a reach around for gratis. I'm just cool like that.

logtar - you're a kind and generous man. I'm flattered by your offer. But I'm still gonna have to charge you for a reach around.