Whoring Myself Out
In regards to my tax situation, I've received several fundraising suggestions.
Spyder thought I should offer my services as a pool boy and even offered to buy an inflatable pool and hire me.
crse suggested fundraising via a PayPal widget thingy on my blog that would allow people to donate money to keep me out of a Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison. I may actually do this. What the hell, right?
nightmare suggested a rent party. Possible. I have some ideas.
kc sponge offered to take a look at "my stuff". That's not really a revenue opportunity. Just an opportunity to show sponge "my stuff". Which I would totally do. But I digress.
However, poodles had the simplest suggestion. That I should just pimp myself out.
So, with gratitude to Greg for the introduction, I present my new pimp.
Airtight Willie.
He my baby daddy!
All parties interested in having their way with me should call Willie at 816-298-0420.
"For parties of 10 or more, an 18% reach-around gratuity will be added to the ticket for your convenience.
Your friend,
Airtight Willie."
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6 comments:
I really want to dial that number but i just cant risk gill finding out that im calling for male whores who can't pay their taxes again. Im sure this is the answer for you....
You'd make a great male gigolo. And if you show your stuff to Sponge, make sure you charge her.
BTW, on a serious note, the IRS will work out a payment plan if you ask.
How much is a reach around? Just so I know if it will be worth it to gather 9 friends.
We'll talk business some other time...
I would not give to paypal, but I would go to a pay party in your honor, I would even help organize it.
crse - it's a prank phone number that you hand out in bars to people you don't like. They get a recording telling them they've been punked.
michelle - your confidence is inspiring. To paraphrase the Brown & Cruppen commercial, "I'll keep my promise. I'll make her pay!"
Dan - I am absolutely going to do that.
poodles - I'll give you a reach around for gratis. I'm just cool like that.
logtar - you're a kind and generous man. I'm flattered by your offer. But I'm still gonna have to charge you for a reach around.
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