Sunday, June 07, 2009

Katie Horner. Srsly?



Dear KCTV5,

This Katie Horner thing is becoming absurd. No, it is light years past absurd!

Tonight I was listening to what the Chairman of The Federal Reserve had to say about the health of our economy on 60 Minutes when your attention whore breaks in to talk about a storm 2 hours north of us and headed east. Not south, not threatening Kansas City, but east. Away from us. No impact to Kansas City whatsoever.

I'm quite certain that people who live north of St. Joseph can get their weather bulletins from whomever the St. Joseph CBS affiliates weather attention whore is.

It is now 8:00. Not a single drop of rain has fallen. Not a single rumble of thunder has been heard. I am enjoying "Three Kings" on AMC to avoid Katie's masturbatory revellrey in the sound of her own voice and her seemingly orgasmic pleasure in forcing everyone to watch her and listen to her when we would rather be doing something else.

She's like some sort of weather dominatrix who takes pleasure in inflicting meteorlogical pain on innocent viewers.

You, as her employer, are enabling her sick addiction.

She needs an interdiction. Only an interdiction on live TV that interrupts one of her interruptions can come close to repairing the damage that she has done to KCTV5.

Yank that self-absorbed, octo-mom off the air and only pre-empt CBS programming when actual Kansas City area residents are in immediate danger.

kthxbai.

15 comments:

"The D" said...

FIRST!

You're a fucking moron.

If you would have bothered to look up the number of channels St. Joe has you'd know that it only has 3 local channels. And non of those 3 are CBS. The rest come from KC. She has to be on the air to give the warnings for the people in that area. Just like the rest of the weather people have to be.

If you're watching Three Kings then how do you know she is breaking in to the Tony's? Only women and gays watch the Tony's.

Xavier Onassis said...

I have no issue with your assertion that I am, as you say, "a fucking moron".

However I do take issue with the idea that St. Joseph, MO should be totally dependant on a Kansas City, CBS, attention whore to save them from a meteorological apocolypse.

I still have not seen a single drop of rain or heard a single rumble of thunder.

There is NO justification for interrupting Kansas City television for weather events that don't affect Kansas City or it's suburbs.

MarianLibertarian said...

She keeps breaking in during the production numbers. She cut off Harvey Fierstein AND Billy Elliott. Where's my blowtorch? I'm gonna send my telly to kingdom come. And she looks sickly in pink. It's clashing with the weather-invasion map.

Anonymous said...

Fuck Katie Horner. She's a dumb, attention-stupid twat.

Note to the D - there is such a thing as (1) showing alerts along the top and the bottom of the screen, and (2) waiting until the commercials if its that fucking important.

Xavier Onassis said...

10:45pm and still not a drop of rain or a single rumble of thunder.

Nick said...

Dude, you were sooooo close.

The word you were looking for is 'intervention'; Katie doesn't need an 'interDICTion', she needs an intervention....

You know that lil' problem you were complainig of in your e-mail this week? Well, it's starting to play tricks with your mind:

InterDICT Katie Horner, indeed....

Anonymous said...

For the privilege of being a broadcaster, and earning the ad bucks, licensees have a duty/obligations (something radio has ignored) to provide timely and up to date information to protect the public. The TV area of dominate influence for Kansas City reaches from just south of St Joe to nearly Yates Center, Lawrence to nearly Columbia. So to maintain their license KC broadcasters must provide relevant and timely weather information. How they do it up to them, however a reputation as a weather leader boosts the ole nielsons by at least 10%.

Why are you bitching? you can see anything you might have missed within minutes on youtube or hulu.

Take a minute and drive through an area that was hit, you will thank your lucky stars that someone took the time to warn those folks, and that your lily white ass was spared, this time.

Kansas Sity Sinic said...

Not to defend Katie (because, really, Big B is where it's at (brian busby, doy)). However, I must say, as a former wanna be live, late-breaking and investigative news reporter, it's not enitrely Katie's fault when she overbroadcasts the weather.

More than likely, there is an overzealous PRODUCER behind the scenes who is mandating when Katie goes on, for how long, and which one of our beloved programs she interrupts.

All I am saying.

I Travel for JOOLS said...

If you're wondering about the "health of our economy" just take a look at what shape California is in and why and you'll see where we're headed. The only difference is we won't be forced to balance our budget until the Chinese force us to do so.

Nuke said...

You'd still nail her XO, and you know it. It would just be a grudge fuck rather than the tender love making you are know for.

OK I made that last part up, you aren't known for having sex at all. I was just being polite, which by this disclaimer I appear to suck at.

SmedRock said...

I think XO would totally grudge fuck The D.

Kanga said...

I like Katie. She's kinda got the whole eternally preggers earth-mother thing goin' on.

Amos said...

Kansas Sity Sinic-
you have the main point right on the nose!

Contact KCTV5's producers, and any other bosses of KCTV5, and tell them you are tired of the weather drama. Katie is just fulfilling her duties as she is told by her boss. Don't we all do what our bosses say???

Anyways, don't personally attack Katie! If we had Katie's job, we would have to do the same thing.

Op4me said...

I love the fan boys that come out and tell other people their fucking idiots. First off, last week she did a promo stating, and I quote, "I'm tracking pop up thunderstorms. details at 10". I went to look at the radar and there was a single thunderstorm, not severe, and west of Salina. Until some of you losers realize that Ch. 5 is nothing more than tabloid news, and weather, it will be tough to pull your head out of your ass.

Also, she "tracks" storms that are just north of Sedalia, moving east. SEDALIA has stations. They're part of the Columbia market. "The D" seems to have a crush on Katie. Maybe a pic on his ceiling?

Oh, BTW, ask yourself why Ch.5 pulled the 3 colleges out of her bio that she dropped out of, and also ask yourself where her "certification" came from. I don't like Amble either, but at least he has a real degree from KU. Horner? That other loser from the weekend is a former classic rock DJ. D for doppler? Uh, not.

Op4me said...

Re:Kanga
I like Katie. She's kinda got the whole eternally preggers earth-mother thing goin' on.


No one takes her seriously and "rushing" in with her jeans on is just plain laughable. Also, the tornado warning fiasco in JOCO a few years back cemented her in infamy. She should quit and get a job at a place that isn't laughed at. WalMart?