Sunday, January 16, 2011


You start with a couple of slices of Texas Toast and some Land O' Lakes Honey Butter.

Butter one side of the Texas Toast with the Honey Butter and put them under the broiler until golden brown.

Flip the one-sided toast over and lightly spread some real mayonnaise on the un-toasted side.

Sprinkle some freshly shredded Parmesan cheese on the mayonnaise side of the bread

Add some lettuce

Some sliced Roma tomatoes

Some bacon

And VOILA! A delicious BLT!



Spyder said...

Damn that looks good!

Old Fart said...

OH SHIT...I LOVE YOU... BACON... nom nom nom.

Damn, those look good.

Hyperblogal said...

Adopt me ... adopt me.....

Bull E. Vard said...

Make your own mayonnaise, it only takes 5 minutes and it will take any BLT to another level. Store bought mayonnaise is the greatest scam in the grocery store.

Xavier Onassis said...

Bull E Vard - I just looked up a few mayo recipes and watched an Alton Brown YouTube on the subject. My observations are:

1. The process is way too fucking fragile. The order and quantities in which the ingredients are slowly added while constantly whisking is too much trouble.

2. All that whisking. Seriously? If I wanted to expend that much energy I'd just go jack off.

3. Not a big fan of Teh Salmonella. I didn't see the word "pasteurised" anywhere in those recipes.

Think I'll stick with store bought.

Step 1, open jar.

Step 2, spread.

Step 3, close jar.

Step 4, hire a lawyer and sue the shit out of Hellman's if you get sick.

Bull E. Vard said...

You can use an immersion blender if you're that lazy. It is a little bit of work but you'll have plenty of mayonnaise for a week. You're not going to get salmonella. What you are going to get is the greatest mayonnaise experience of your life.

I always hated mayonnaise and wouldn't eat it on anything. Then I made my own after figuring out it was just egg, acid and salt and can't believe that Hellman's or Miracle Whip can make any money selling their shit. If that's your idea of mayonnaise, it's like saying you like hamburgers having only eaten at McDonald's.

Just spend an hour on one of your Fridays off trying to do it. Once you get it right once, you've got it. It's like riding a bike, you can do it every time flawlessly after that.

I'm a little too passionate about homemade mayo.

Xavier Onassis said...

Bull E. Vard - You are clearly passionate about homemade mayo.

So much so that it is taking every erg of maturity I can muster to keep from making 14 year old splooge jokes.

But I respect your passion for food and your culinary wisdom too much to drop to that level.

Rather than making this a crap shoot, how about you point me to a tried and true mayo recipe that will yield consistent quality with little effort and no Salmonella and I will give it a try and post about my experience.


Bull E. Vard said...

You were on the right track with the Alton Brown video because I use his recipe. I use canola oil because we have it and I prefer red wine vinegar (I'm going to use malt vinegar next time) to the white. But, this recipe will get you there.

I Travel for JOOLS said...

Looks good. If you don't want to venture down the homemade route, try Smart Balance Mayo some time. It's good and good for you too :-)