Hey Lady, Wanna Dance?

So, last Friday I have a clumsy fuck moment.

I tripped and fell and landed HARD on my right knee.

FUCK!

I iced it down, took some ibuprofen and went to bed.

The next day, I wrapped an ace bandage around it and went to CVS where I dropped about $60 on a sturdy knee brace, a couple of knee-cap-shaped ice bags with Velcro straps, and some Icy Hot sleeves.

I spent most of the weekend in my recliner, leg elevated, knee iced down.

On Monday I slipped one of those Icy Hot sleeves over the knee, wrapped that in the sport brace, popped some ibuprofen, grabbed my hickory cane to help keep the weight off the right leg and headed to work.

I decided this was a good excuse to drive the Chevy Blazer I bought for my daughter. My reasoning was, since it's an automatic, I wouldn't have to worry about working the clutch with my bad knee.

It actually wasn't until today that I thought "Oh yeah...you work the clutch with your left foot. Putz!" But whatevies. The Blazer is a pretty sweet ride.

So, long story somewhat shorter, I've been toddling around the office this week with my bare hickory cane (bare = no rubber cap on the bottom) sounding like some sinister, B-movie pirate. I even tossed out the occasional "Arrrggghhh" to my startled co-workers.

This meant more time on my feet, less time with my leg elevated, and virtually no time and place to ice it down. Consequently, my knee became increasingly painful as the week went on.

Being a Real Man, it wasn't until today, 5 days after the injury that I thought "Ya know, maybe I should have a doctor take a look at this hot mess."

I didn't go to my primary care doctor because all he would be able to do is send me someplace else.

I didn't go to the ER because not only is it too expensive, but it's hard to make the case that I have an "emergency" when my injury occurred 5 days ago.

So I split the difference and went to an Urgent Care clinic that was covered by my insurance.

The Dr. there examined me, sent me to another clinic about half a block away for X Rays, then back to the Urgent Care Clinic to find out whassup.

As far as we can tell, I didn't actually break or tear anything important. I just whacked my knee against a hard object with about 240 lbs of brutal gravitational force. The tissue around the knee cap is angry as all fuck, but no serious damage.

The X Ray did reveal a small bit of bone or cartilage that's floating around loose in there and probably grinding stuff up.

The Dr wants me to ditch my hickory cane in favor of ACTUAL CRUTCHES to keep the weight off the knee. He also wants me to see an orthopedic Dr who can order an MRI to see if there is any soft tissue damage and decide what we should do about The Floater.

But the best news of all (wait for it....) is that he gave me a prescription for hydrocodone (that's Vicodin for you rich, brand name bitches). I caint read no doctor writin', so I don't know how powerful they are, but who gives a fuck. It's Vicodin. I'll take it and like it.

He also wants me to continue the icing and elevation therapy and 4 Ibuprofen 3 times a day to reduce the inflammation.

Oh, and one more thing. With the crutches, my left leg will be bearing the brunt of my weight and that's the leg that has the foot with the Plantar Fasciitis, a huge fucking bunion and a dislocated middle toe! That's the foot that I have the boot cast for. So I have THAT working for me. Yay me!

Who wants to go dancing?