The Free Market - Fuck Yeah!

You hear it over and over again.

If the Government would just get out of the way with it's "job killing" regulations and let the Free Market loose, all of our problems would be solved. It is Government regulations that are strangling Small Businesses in this country and preventing people like you and me from realizing The American Dream.

Well you know what? I couldn't agree more!

You see, several years ago I concocted what I call "XO's Triple Punch Magical Ointment and Bag Balm (for external use only)".

The "Triple Punch" comes from the FACT that it is GUARANTEED to cure Childhood Leukemia, Muscular Dystrophy and Spina Bifida. It will also soften rough skin on your elbows and heels.

Now, I know that there is a HUGE market out there willing to snatch this product up at whatever price the market will bear! Desperate parents with extremely sick children who have exhausted every option the Main Stream MedicoPharma Industrial Complex has to offer.

But those Goddamn Government Regulations are cock-blocking me at every turn! If the Government would just get the fuck out of my way, I could start my own business, create new jobs and start living the American Dream.

The first thing we need to do is abolish the Federal Trade Commission! The FTC thinks it is there job to tell me what I can and cannot say in my own advertising for my own product! The arrogance!

They say that unless I have proof from ANOTHER Government Agency, the Food and Drug Administration, that my ointment really does all of the things I claim it does, then I can't say that in my ads and on the labels!

Now, I don't think the Federal Government should be in the business of picking "winners and losers"! Let the Free Market decide who wins and who loses!

If the parent of a sick child buys my ointment, uses as directed (the instructions clearly state that the users must add Faith to maximize effectiveness) and the child dies anyway, well, I will probably lose that family's business. That's the way a Free Market works!

And once we enact Real Tort Reform, they won't be able to bring any frivolous law suits against me. The label clearly states that they had to add Faith. Clearly they didn't add enough. It's not my fault if they didn't use my product as directed.

So I have to agree with the Tea Party and the rest of the Right Wing Free Market Zealots. Get the Government the fuck out of my way so I can put "XO's Triple Punch Magical Ointment and Bag Balm (for external use only)" in the medicine cabinet of every desperate parent of a terminally ill child.

God Bless Capitalism, God Bless The Free Market, and God Bless The United States of America!

CHA CHING!

Why Haven't The "Job Creators" Created Any New Jobs?

This graph is from 2007 but I think we can all agree on the trend. Nothing has changed that would bring the Upper 1% closer to the Bottom Fifth.



So here's my question. It's a simple one.

If those at the top of the socio-economic bracket are no longer "greedy, rich, bastards" but are now transformed into "Job Creators" and the salvation of The American Way...where are the fucking jobs?

Rich people are richer then they have ever been. They are taxed at a lower rate than they have ever been. They have less "skin in the game" in the American economy than ever before.

So, with all of this extra money these supposedly altruistic, patriotic, "Job Creators" have...where are the motherfucking jobs?

We shouldn't have ANY unemployed workers. These "Job Creators" have more than enough investment reserve to create assloads of new businesses employing every fucking body.

And yet...they don't. They are afraid that they might not be able to remodel their chef's kicthen in their summer home in Monaco if their gross income is reduced by 0.00001%,

They might have to reduce the hours of one of their undocumented, minimum wage toilet maids if their net wealth drops from $3.1 Billion to a mere $3.0 billion.

If these richest motherfuckers are really the engine that drives the American Economy, if they are really the most "American" Americans, if they are really so much better than everyone else that we should all bow down to our Corporate Saviors and be happy to be doing so, then maybe, just maybe, they should be giving up some of their shit to help us out.

After all, we are the ones who made them rich. We sell their shit and we buy their shit. Without us, they are NOTHING! So I say, they owe us.

Pony up, bitches.

Stop whining and kick in your fair share of our national infrastructure.

Consider it a "cover charge".