The Free Market - Fuck Yeah!

You hear it over and over again.

If the Government would just get out of the way with it's "job killing" regulations and let the Free Market loose, all of our problems would be solved. It is Government regulations that are strangling Small Businesses in this country and preventing people like you and me from realizing The American Dream.

Well you know what? I couldn't agree more!

You see, several years ago I concocted what I call "XO's Triple Punch Magical Ointment and Bag Balm (for external use only)".

The "Triple Punch" comes from the FACT that it is GUARANTEED to cure Childhood Leukemia, Muscular Dystrophy and Spina Bifida. It will also soften rough skin on your elbows and heels.

Now, I know that there is a HUGE market out there willing to snatch this product up at whatever price the market will bear! Desperate parents with extremely sick children who have exhausted every option the Main Stream MedicoPharma Industrial Complex has to offer.

But those Goddamn Government Regulations are cock-blocking me at every turn! If the Government would just get the fuck out of my way, I could start my own business, create new jobs and start living the American Dream.

The first thing we need to do is abolish the Federal Trade Commission! The FTC thinks it is there job to tell me what I can and cannot say in my own advertising for my own product! The arrogance!

They say that unless I have proof from ANOTHER Government Agency, the Food and Drug Administration, that my ointment really does all of the things I claim it does, then I can't say that in my ads and on the labels!

Now, I don't think the Federal Government should be in the business of picking "winners and losers"! Let the Free Market decide who wins and who loses!

If the parent of a sick child buys my ointment, uses as directed (the instructions clearly state that the users must add Faith to maximize effectiveness) and the child dies anyway, well, I will probably lose that family's business. That's the way a Free Market works!

And once we enact Real Tort Reform, they won't be able to bring any frivolous law suits against me. The label clearly states that they had to add Faith. Clearly they didn't add enough. It's not my fault if they didn't use my product as directed.

So I have to agree with the Tea Party and the rest of the Right Wing Free Market Zealots. Get the Government the fuck out of my way so I can put "XO's Triple Punch Magical Ointment and Bag Balm (for external use only)" in the medicine cabinet of every desperate parent of a terminally ill child.

God Bless Capitalism, God Bless The Free Market, and God Bless The United States of America!

CHA CHING!

OK, I Don't Get This

A ROUGH DECADE FOR AMERICAN CONGREGATIONS

"By Eric Marrapodi, CNN Belief Blog Co-Editor

(CNN) – A new decade-long survey of American congregations shows religious health and vitality are weaker than they were 10 years ago. While the survey showed that many congregations are adopting new technologies and innovative worship, there were steep drops in financial health and attendance at weekly worship services.
...
Overall, median weekend worship attendance of your typical congregation dropped from 130 to 108 during the decade, according to the FACT surveys."

So church attendance is down. Fewer and fewer Americans are identifying as being "religious". Yet in the Republican Party, religious fanatics like Prick Perry, Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are the rising stars of the GOP and represent the best the Republicans have to offer in 2012.

This tells me that the evangelical Christian core of the conservative Republican party is SO out of touch with the American mainstream population that they don't have a fucking snowball's chance in HELL of winning over independent swing voters in a General election.

The American people want, need, and deserve a President who relies on FACTS, not FAITH.

Prick Perry tried to pray the Texas drought away and his state caught ignited in flames (literally) and experienced the hottest summer ever recorded.

So that didn't work.

Michele Bachmann and her OVERWHELMINGLY CLOSETED GAY HUSBAND have a "Christian Counselling" service that promise to "pray the gay away".

That will NEVER work!

So this is what I don't understand.

If Christianity and church attendance is on the decline, where is this rising Republican religious fundamentalism finding it's base?

How can Republicans possibly think they can win a General election when their Core Base is a diminishing number of delusional people who believe in medieval mythological fantasies?

I don't get this. What the fuck are they thinking?

God Hates Prick Perry

Facing Record Droughts, Gov. Rick Perry Proclaims Official Day of Prayer for Rain

So Texas Governor Prick Perry prayed for rain.

"Gov. Perry won't acknowledge the vast body of scientific evidence that supports the fact that the climate is warming, and man is primarily to blame. His official position is that he doesn't think climate change is a problem. And he actively works to prevent climate action in his state, and has orchestrated Texas' lawsuit against the EPA for trying to enforce the Clean Air Act. His main aim is to prevent the agency from regulating greenhouse gases.

And then, when Texas has its worst droughts in 100 years, his official policy response is to pray for rain."

The result? Texas had the hottest summer ever recorded in the United States.

"Firefighters southeast of Austin, Texas, battled strong winds Monday as they struggled to gain ground against a fast-moving wildfire that has so far scorched some 25,000 acres and destroyed close to 500 homes.

Another fire in eastern Texas killed a mother and her 18-month-old child when flames engulfed their mobile home Sunday near Gladewater, the Gregg County Sheriff's Department said.

"We got a long way to go to get this thing contained," Gov. Rick Perry said about the fire raging near Austin. "I have seen a number of big fires in my life. This one is as mean looking as I've ever seen."

So this is the guy Republicans want to be President?

He has a better plan to get Americans working again than O'Bama?

Is he going to pray jobs into existence?

Because based on the evidence from Texas, I see 2 possible theories.

1: Prayer doesn't work.

2: Prayer DOES work, but God hates Prick Perry as much as everyone else.

In either case, this motherfucker should never, ever, be President of the United States.

Rick Perry is a Stupid, Dangerous Motherfucker

The following information was gleaned from ThinkProgress.

I implore and encourage you to click through the links so you can see just how batshit crazy the people that Rick Perry associates himself with really are.

Do you really want this stupid motherfucker to be anywhere near the White House or have access to the codes that could launch a nuclear war?

On August 6th, Gov. Rick Perry hosted a rally of prayer for a “nation in crisis.” Perry invited all 49 other governors to share in the event he defined as “a nondenominational, apolitical, Christian prayer meeting.”

A quick look at the event’s endorsement list features a who’s-who of
extreme right-wing religious figures. They warn of dire consequences for our nation: birds dying out because gays can serve in the military, hurricanes ravaging “sinful cities,” even Oprah Winfrey being a sign of the Apocalypse. Yet despite their outlandish beliefs and rhetoric, Perry features their support prominently on the event’s website.

ThinkProgress has compiled the top outlandish beliefs from pastors associated with Perry’s prayer rally:

– Oprah is a sign of the Apocalypse: In his channel on GOD TV, Mike Bickle called Oprah a “forerunner to the harlot movement.” Bickle also warned that traditional “marriage will be…defiled” as the “gay marriage agenda, which is rooted in the depths of Hell,” progresses.

– Blackbirds are dying because of gay soldiers: Dr. Cindy
Jacobs recorded a video declaring a connection between the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the sudden death of blackbirds in Beebee, Arkansas as a divine punishment. She also called
“girl-on-girl kissing” a “plague on society” and asked divine forgiveness for the violation of a woman’s “natural use.”

– The Statue of Liberty is a “demonic idol”: In
various sermons, John Benefiel called the Statue of Liberty a “demonic idol.” He also expressed a belief that homosexuality is a plot contrived by the Illuminati “to limit the world population.”

– Hurricane Katrina was divine retribution for the city’s
“sin”: John Hagee said residents of New Orleans were at
fault for Hurricane Katrina: “I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that.” Hagee has also insinuated
that “the Holocaust…was the fault of Jews themselves” and Hitler acted as a “hunter” corralling the Jews into Israel.

– Gay rights movement from the “pit of hell”: Dwight
McKissic denounced comparisons between the civil rights movement and the gay rights movement because the latter is a “satanic anointment…inspired by the anti-Christ” that comes from the “pit of hell.” McKissic also said that “God uses natural disasters to punish evil,” pointing to Hurricane Katrina because “New Orleans flaunts sin.”

– Jesus actually opposed the minimum wage: Influential
pastor David Barton has made a name for himself by distorting Biblical text to support his claim that Jesus opposed the minimum wage and the capital gains tax. Barton has also argued that public school students are getting “homosexual indoctrination.”

– Children of gay parents are like orphans of 9/11:
During this year’s Faith and Freedom conference, ThinkProgress reported on Jim Garlow’s comparison of orphans of the September 11th attacks to children raised in same-sex households. Garlow is also known for his controversial allegation that African Americans have saved the country from the “enslavement of gay marriage.”

– Director of a Christian para-military group: Jay
Swallow is the Director of SWAT, a “Christian Military Training Camp” organized “for the purpose of dealing with the occult and territorial enemy strong holds in America.” Participants of the training session sign a liability waiver before becoming “warriors” against “occult and territorial enemy strongholds in America.” Participants are also trained “how to pray for casinos on Native American land.”

– African Americans are “cursed” by homosexuals:
Willie Wooten published a book about the curse of the African American people. He wrote that their tolerance of “immorality” in the Democratic Party begets curses of “adultery, incest, children from incestuous union, children born out-of-wedlock, destroyed virginity, bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism.”

– Aubrey Murray

Alabama Is An Illegal Immigrant Magnet?!? Seriously?!?

"Alabama governor signs tough new immigration law"

"(CNN) -- Alabama's governor has signed what he billed as tough illegal immigration legislation, requiring police to check the status of anyone they suspect may be in the country illegally when stopped for another reason."

This makes no fucking sense.

Who are these illegal Mexicans invading Alabama?

I mean, look at a U.S. map. If I'm in Mexico, I would have to cross the U.S. border into Texas, travel east across a HUGE expanse of Texas, and pass through Louisiana and Mississippi in order to get to Alabama.

1.) Why the fuck wouldn't I just stay in Texas?
2.) New Orleans or Baton Rouge are way more appealing than anything in Alabama.
3.) Mississippi...OK, I get that. Keep going.
4.) Alabama? Seriously? I've come this far, why would I stop in Alabama when I could travel just a little bit farther and be in fucking Florida!?! Once in Florida I could just tell everyone I'm Cuban and blend right in. I'm home free. Alabama?

Does the Governor of Alabama think that his new draconian legislation makes Alabama any less appealing to immigrants than the rampant poverty and racism they already have going for them?

Nothing about this makes any sense.

Unless, this is nothing but Republican grandstanding and pandering to it's illiterate, bigoted, right wing, paranoid electorate in a cheap and transparent attempt to garner redneck votes in the next election.

The it would make perfect sense.

The Middle Class Is Obsolete

For the last century or so, it was widely acknowledged that the working Middle Class of America was what made this country great.

It was the Middle Class that worked in the factories making American products and it was those same Middle Class Americans that used the wages they earned in those factories to buy American products.

It was the acknowledgement of this Great Truth that coerced the business owners to enter into collective bargaining agreements with those workers because they knew how valuable those workers were to their bottom line. Without the hard working / hard spending American Middle Class, there was no American business. Period.

It seemed to be a reasonable bargain at the time. Business owners realized that a healthy work force was a productive work force so it was in the share holders best interest to provide health care for their employees so they could keep coming to work.

They also realized that all work and no play can lead to fatigue, carelessness and apathy so allowing their employees some annual paid time off seemed like a fair deal for everybody.

Well guess what? The American Middle Class has become obsolete. The fact of the matter is, the 1 Percent of the wealthiest Americans who control most of the American economy have done the calculations and concluded that they don't need you anymore.

They don't need American workers and they don't need American consumers. They can get all of the workforce and consumers they need in India and China.

So not only do the Economic Elitists no longer need a strong, American Middle Class, you have actually become a drain on their profits. What with your constant whining about rising jobless rates, expiring unemployment insurance, skyrocketing health care costs, Social Security solvency, Medicare, Medicaid, roads, sewers, blah, blah blah. Don't you people ever shut up?

Don't you see? This is why every Republican solution for fixing what ails this country revolves around keeping and expanding trillions of dollars in tax breaks for the billionaires while pulling every tax payer funded safety net out from under the poorest Americans and killing off the whole concept of collective bargaining. These poorest Americans used to be part of the Middle Class. It was their hard work that allowed these billionaires to amass such wealth.

But they don't give a flying fuck about you anymore. The sooner you go away and leave them alone, the happier they'll be. That is why they want to take away your health care, your unemployment insurance and your Social Security. If they leave you all with nothing, maybe you will all turn on each other and kill yourselves off in a fight for survival. Let the vermin exterminate themselves.

Not that the rich will notice. Behind their gated communities and private security. They don't even need tax payed funded police. That's why they don't give a fuck how many cops are on the street. The fewer cops there are, the sooner the mass extinction of the poor can commence.

The Middle Class is gone. All that's left is the extremely wealthy and the ragged remnants of the people who made them so very, very rich.

This Election Cycle Is Insanely Hysterical

Republicans/Conservatives/Right Wingers have been rabidly apoplectic for 2 years over the fact that an African American, Liberal Democrat was elected President, swept into power surfing a tidal wave of discontent, disgust and disapproval from a majority of the American people.

Not only did a majority of Americans vote Barack Obama into the White House, they voted Democratic candidates into control of the House of Representatives and the Senate.

Overwhelmingly, a majority of American Citizens told the Republicans "You suck, you fail, we're sick of you and we are kicking you the hell out of power. Get out of the way and shut the fuck up. The adults are taking charge."

But here's what's hilarious.

The Republicans/Conservatives/Right Wingers think that the reason they lost power is because they were TOO MAINSTREAM! They think they need to be more radically RIGHT WING, CONSERVATIVE and even LIBERTARIAN!

They think this is some sort of patriotic, grass roots movement fueled by outrage over Big Gummint Gone Wild.

What's sad (and hilarious) is that they are nothing more than puppets being manipulated by David and Charles Koch. The Tea Baggers are limp and mindless marionettes being manipulated by powerful men who don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about the protesters in cheap Benjamin Franklin costumes holding misspelled, racist signs.











Clearly, this is not a movement that is going to bring over the mythical "Reagan Democrat" swing voters.

This is an extreme, radical, hate-filled, far right wing fringe being manipulated by powers beyond their limited comprehension.

By embracing and electing the most extreme crazies in their party, they are sealing their own doom and consigning themselves to the trash heap of political history.

Pro Tip: When you find yourself in a hole (2008), STOP DIGGING!

Idiots.

Conservatives Are Freeloaders!

Conservatives want to accumulate wealth, and enjoy all of the other advantages of living in a free, safe, capitalist society without having to pay for any of the physical, legal or societal infrastructure that makes that way of life possible.

They want to be absolutely free and unfettered to manipulate us and sell us shit and devise creative ways to separate us from our money to enrich themselves.

They want to ride us like Red Pollard rode Sea Biscuit without so much as a happy-finish rub down after the race.



But they don't want to be taxed to pay for the Interstate Highway system that makes commerce possible. That's "pork".

They don't want to be taxed for Unemployment Benefits, Medicare, Medicaid or Social Security because that's "socialism". Never mind the fact that the people collecting those benefits are folks on the edge of poverty that the conservatives fired to increase their profit margins so that they don't have to give up one of their 7 houses.



They don't want to be taxed to provide full medical end education benefits to the young men and women who serve in our Armed Forces and keep our country safe. "It's an all volunteer force! Nobody forced them to enlist! We paid them, put a roof over their heads and gave them 3 MREs a day. They knew what they were getting into! What's the problem?"



They don't want to be taxed to provide full medical and education benefits to the citizens of this country who work their asses off to make the rich richer. Shit happens. If you get bad sick, be prepared to sell your house, your car and beg everyone in your family and town to do the same so you can afford the medical treatments that MIGHT keep you alive from the doctors who make over $250,000.00 a year.

They don't want to be taxed to fund the basic research conducted by scientists and students at our universities that make the major scientific breakthroughs that create new products, new markets, and new opportunities for new wealth. I feel compelled to remind all readers that the precursor to the Internet that you are using right now was the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network (ARPANET) which was tax payer funded research project. It was not a "small business, entrepreneurial" effort.

They don't want to be taxed to fund government institutions designed to look over their shoulders to make sure they aren't lying to people and stealing their money. They have been enabled in this by 8 years of the Bush administration. Which is exactly why we are where we are today. Because we let the financial industry run wild, create "vapor wealth", while the people in charge looked the other way knowing that as soon as they got out of government service they could hump that pooch for all the cash it was worth.



Today, these selfish, greedy conservatives are overestimating the attendance of other selfish, greedy, brainless Fox-Zombies at their inherently racist "Tea Parties".

I say racist because the Boston Tea Party on which these "Taxed Enough Already" protests are modelled involved colonists committing what were at the time criminal acts while dressed in such a way as to deflect the blame to our indigenous population.

"It was now evening, and I immediately dressed myself in the costume of an Indian, equipped with a small hatchet, which I and my associates denominated the tomahawk, with which, and a club, after having painted my face and hands with coal dust in the shop of a blacksmith, I repaired to Griffin's wharf, where the ships lay that contained the tea. When I first appeared in the street after being thus disguised, I fell in with many who were dressed, equipped and painted as I was, and who fell in with me and marched in order to the place of our destination."

If they were true patriots, why did they try to blame Native Americans? Why didn't they stand up and declare themselves as True American Patriots and consequences be damned!

Because just like the Tea-Baggers faux-protesting today, they are hypocrites. They want the benefits of America without paying the costs to support America.

You want "small government"? I have a role model for you. Somalia. They haven't had ANY government in 18 years! It's a Republican paradise! Unfettered capitalism! Entrepenuers Gone Wild!



Freeloaders.

The Three Stooges

O'Reilly, Hannity & Beck.

The Triumvirate of Stupidity.

The Critical Mass of Spin.

These are my favorite sitcoms. Watching these flaccid, impotent, hate filled, narrow minded, bigoted, gas bags, foam at the mouth and try to find creative, new ways to scream racist epitaphs, generate FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) and divide the country is FUNNY AS HELL!

Because NO ONE IS LISTENING! They are on the last ship of conservatism sailing into oblivion, yelling back to the people on the shore who have turned their backs and headed in a new direction.

The People have spoken. We tried Your Way.

It resulted in an unwinnable, undeclared war on a military tactic rather than an actual enemy.

It resulted in us walking away from everything this country used to stand for.

It resulted in the United States of America imprisoning and torturing people in perpetuity without a single shred of credible evidence of any wrong doing.

It resulted in a complete stripping away of any assumed right to privacy or anonymity of American citizens.

It resulted in spreading our military forces so thin, for so long, that we are no longer a credible military threat to anyone and everyone knows it except us. This is why Iran is pursuing nuclear weapons and North Korea is about to launch a "satellite". Because they don't think we can do anything about it. And they're right! We can't!

It resulted in rampant, unregulated, corruption and greed in the financial industry that has completely bankrupted this country and thrown over 8% of the population into unemployment. And it ain't over. Unemployment will top 10% before we hit bottom.

It resulted in a Fuck You Culture. "I have mine, fuck you! Go get yours, if you can, I could give a shit."

Well, the pendulum has swung the other way and it is your own fault if it smacks you square in the balls.

The political winds and the ethnic demographic of this country have changed. For the better.

Buh bye bigoted, old, conservative, religious, white, Republicans. Have fun stormin' the castle!

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This Shit Cracks Me Up!

Republicans have been in a death spiral for the entire Primary Season. Now the Primary is over, the General is upon us, and the Republican party is facing up to some difficult realities.

"What? We're stuck with McCain? The most unConservative, unRepublican, unRightWing, unNeoCon, unFundie in the entire Republican party and he is our only choice over a black democrat who is the product of an interracial marriage and whose middle name is Hussein and his father was a Muslim from Africa? Are you fucking kidding me? We don't even get to run against the Clintons again? Fuck! That's all we know! What are we gonna do?"

As if that weren't enough, even the Republicans trusted blacks, The Good Blacks, are turning against them.

And still they can't face the fact that maybe, JUST MAYBE, the reason the tide is turning is because they were always wrong...from the very beginning. Their whole ideology was just, fucking wrong and history is finally catching up to them as they continue to live in denial.

Greed IS NOT good. Passing laws that make rich people richer and poor people poorer IS NOT in the best interest of the country. Invading other countries, hanging their leaders, destroying their infrastructure, and trying to shove our way of life down their throats at the point of a bayonet IS NOT a successful strategy. Allowing ANY citizen of the self-purported GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD to live in poverty or go without basic health care (not just physical, but mental) IS NOT living up to the ideals set forth in the Constitution, The Declaration of Independence and The Bill of Rights.

America IS the greatest country on Earth. The problem is that too many of us suck at being Americans and tend to vote for leaders that suck even more than we do at being Americans.

Let's hope that is about to change.