Thursday, November 30, 2006

Wintery Comfort Food


When I saw that we were going to get our first, big, winter storm of the season, I immediately headed for the store and started assembling my first big pot of beef stew of the season.

Greg, over at Death's Door published his secret recipe for perfect fried chicken a long time ago.

If Greg can share his fried chicken, I guess I can share my beef stew. It's the best fucking stew you will ever taste. Guaranteed.

I won't focus too much on specific quantities. It's a stew. The key is in the preparation...not specific ratios of ingredients.

The basic ingredients are:

A bunch of stew meat.
A mess of potatoes.
Some celery.
Some carrots.
A big sweet onion.
Some mushrooms.
REAL butter.
Worcestershire sauce
McCormick's Steakhouse Seasoning grinder
McCormick's Peppercorn Medley grinder
2 regular cans or 1 big can of Rotel tomatoes
A bunch of real tomatoes
Some brown sugar
Some red wine or beer
A skillet with a lid
A dutch oven or other suitable stew pot with a lid.

OK. First thing to keep in mind is that this is BEEF Stew. That means the primary ingredient should be BEEF. And what goes with BEEF? Potatoes. The bulk of the ingredients are meat and potatoes. Everything else is just there for flavor and color.

Second thing is keep in mind that you should be able to get most of the main ingredients scooped into a spoon that will fit into your mouth. That means making sure the meat, potatoes, carrots and celery are all cut up into bite-sized pieces. If you buy pre-cut stew meat packs at Price Chopper, those are perfect. Cut your potatoes to be about the same size. All the other ingredients should be smaller.

Alright.

BROWNING THE MEAT

Preheat your skillet

Toss in about a tablespoon of REAL butter. I use Land O Lakes. Its real fucking butter and the babe on the box is smokin' hot.

Throw in enough chopped up sweet onions to cover the bottom of the skillet. My favorite is Vidalia onions. But you can experiment with purple onions, white onions, little fucking pearl onions, scallions, have fun. Just make sure your brown them in real butter.

Cover the onions with stew meat. I generally use pre-cut stew meat. But you can upscale by cutting up your own roast or steaks. Go with Black Angus or even Kobe Beef if you want to go all gourmet.

Season the meat using your Steakhouse and Peppercorn Medley grinders. Be very liberal. You are of course free to experiment with other seasonings, but these two get very good, consistent results for me.

Cover the seasoned meat in sliced mushrooms. I just use regular mushrooms. But you can substitute portabellas or even morels. Be creative.

Toss in a bunch of Worcestershire sauce. Or soy sauce. Never tried that, but it would probably be good.

Cover the skillet and let that shit cook. Toss it around occasionally until the onions are caramelized and the meat is browned and done.

Then just dump ALL of that concoction into the stew pot. Don't drain anything! Put it all in!

Repeat these steps until all of your stew meat is cooked. I usually do about 3 skillets worth. Remember, its BEEF stew!

ALL THE OTHER SHIT

While the meat is browning:

Open the Rotel tomatoes and throw them in the stew pot.

Set the heat under the stew pot to simmer.

Toss in a handful of brown sugar.

Chop up the potatoes, carrots, tomatoes and celery and throw them into the stew pot.

Add the skillets full of cooked up stew meat as they become ready. Just dump all that shit in there.

THE FINISH

After everything has been browned, chopped and tossed in the pot, you will need to add some more liquid. I usually start with some extra Worcestershire sauce. But you still need more liquid. This is where you can really get creative. The easy answer is somewhere between a half and a full bottle of beer. But which beer? You can play around with lagers, dark foreign beers, wheat beers, designer beers, go nuts. You can also substitute the beer with red wine. Again, lots of room for experimentation with different wines.

I've also been known to throw in a bunch of green beans. Experiment with different potatoes, different onions. Maybe add some bell peppers. Some cilantro. I've will occasionally toss in a couple of bay leaves.

No two pots of stew are exactly the same, but every one is fucking delicious!

After all of your ingredients are in the pot, cook them over a very low heat for 2-4 hours. Stir it occasionally and keep reducing the heat to just barely what it takes to make it boil. When the entire big pot is still boiling when your heat has been reduced to barely a simmer, cook it for another hour or so.

Your house will be filled with the most incredible aroma and ambience. Anyone who walks in the door, even a perfect stranger, will immediately feel welcomed and at home.

When it's finally done, don't eat it. You can if you want...won't hurt anything.

But if you let the pot cool to on the stove for a bit, put the entire pot into the fridge over night, and then re-heat it on the stove the next day?

EXFUCKINGSQUISITE! You got to let all that shit mingle and get to know each other. NEVER just scoop out a bowl and pop it in the microwave! ALWAYS reheat the entire pot, slowly, on the stove and then take what you want of the stewy goodness. Put the rest back in the fridge.

SIDES

Hot Buttery French Bread

Hot Buttery Texas Toast sprinkled with shredded cheese and put under the broiler.

Hot Buttery Biscuits

Hot Buttery Crescent Rolls

Hot Buttery Cornbread (with honey)

Follow my instructions and it won't matter if its 50 fucking degrees below zero outside and the entire house is buried in snow.

You will feel all warm and cuddly.

Especially if you wash the whole thing down with a few glasses of small batch bourbon and put a fire in the fireplace.

Happy fucking winter!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Perspective



We'll start this little journey someplace familiar. Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City, MO! Home of the Kansas City Chiefs! They beat the Broncos on Thanksgiving. That makes them 7-4 for the season. They have a shot. Go Chiefs.



It sits right next to Kauffman Stadium. Home of the Kansas City Royals who haven't won a game since 1985. Fucking losers.



This is Kansas City. Can you spot the stadium complex? I purposely made sure that you couldn't see my house in this shot because I don't need all you motherfuckers dropping by unannounced wanting to eat my food, drink up all my liquor and watch my big TV. You know you would.





This is the "Midwest". Some people try to lump places like Ohio, Indiana and Illinois into the midwest. That's bullshit. The midwest is Missouri, Kansas, Iowa and Nebraska. That's it. Hell, St. Louis barely qualifies as midwestern. They have that Gateway Arch and like to bill themselves as the place where the West begins. My ass. St. Louis is just where the East finally peters out.



This is most of the U.S. I sliced off a bit of California, but who gives a shit. That's pretty much what it will look like when the San Andres gives way.



Earth. At least the North-American-Centric view of Earth. Look at how close Cuba is to the tip of Florida. Now look how far away Alaska and Hawaii are from, well, fucking everything. How is it that Hawaii and Alaska are states, but Cuba ain't? I say somebody screwed the pooch on that one.



These are some of the smaller planets orbiting the sun. We are the largest of them. After 4 million years of hominid habitation, we still haven't completely explored our own planet. We are continually making new discoveries. We've only visited these other planets briefly and with robots.



These are the largest planets orbiting our sun. There is a huge, 300 year old, hurricane-like storm on Jupiter that could swallow our entire planet whole. There are also moons of Jupiter and Saturn with atmospheres and oceans possibly harboring life. Hundreds of exotic places that we have barely even discovered, let alone explored, right in our own Solar system.



This is the sun. Our sun. The same one you see shining outside your window right now. From this perspective, the earth is a grain of sand and we are dust mites. Everyone and everything that has ever lived and died, did it on that little bitty fucking grain of sand. In a few billion years, the sun will explode, as all good stars do, and incinerate our little pebble...whether we are still on it or not. The sun doesn't care. A stars got to do what a stars got to do...go supernova.



Our sun isn't even that big. It's a type of star called a Yellow Dwarf. Now you know why. Arcturus is an Orange Giant.



But "giant" is a relative term. Depends on your perspective.



This is a typical spiral galaxy, pretty much like the one we are in. Every point of light you see is a star or a cluster of stars. Contains at least one trillion (1,000,000,000,000) stars, like the ones I described above. Maybe more. Multiply 1,000,000,000,000 stars by the number of likely planets, moons, comets and strange objects in our own solar system. If you were standing at the far right hand side of this galaxy and turned on a really powerful flashlight, the people on the left hand side of the galaxy wouldn't see it for 170,000 years. That's pretty fucking big. Gotta be a whole lot of weird, cool and amazing shit out there.




This is a small galactic cluster.



This is a medium sized galactic cluster.



This is a large galactic cluster.

There are trillions of galaxies in the universe. Each with it's own individual star systems, planets, moons, comets, astroids and most likely, critters of some sort. Given the incredible diversity in the universe, I have to think that it is an absolute certainty that there is life out there. Probably lots of it. Probably smarter than us. I sure as fuck hope so. I'd hate to think we were as good as it gets.

Just for the sake of argument, let's assume that a universe this vast, and this spectacular could not be a random occurence. Personally, I don't have a problem with it being one big coincidence. But, let's just say it's not.

Do you really think that a hypothetical all-powerful, all-knowing God, responsible for the creation of EVERYTHING in this incredibly vast universe would really give a flying fuck how you voted in the last election? Whether or not a couple of gay guys get married? Whether or not you keep Kosher or go on The Hajj?

Get over yourselves. You're not that fucking important. You need to look at the Big Picture and put things in perspective.

If there is a God, he/she/it doesn't care who scores the touchdown in next Sunday's football game, whether or not your cousin's neice gets an abortion, or if we conduct research on embryonic stem cells.

The universe is an incredibly vast, chaotic and violent place where things do not always happen for a reason.

Whether there is a god or not, we are on our own, folks. We have to figure out how to live together on this planet (and hopefully other planets) without killing each other over who has the coolest god or the most oil. There isn't going to be any divine intervention (on either side) that will swoop down and make everything OK.

It's up to us.

So there. You have your homework assignment. Start working on figuring out a way that everyone in the world can live together in peace and not be killing each other over stupid shit all the time. Better get busy. It might take you a while.

Me? I'm going to fix myself a turkey sammich and go for a walk.

Have a nice day.

Just In Time For The Holiday Season





"Big Dick's Dry Rub"


"Smack My Ass And Call Me Sally" hot sauce.



For all of those traditional, holiday family get togethers.

Don't forget to say grace.

Tip of the hat to Nightmare over at Smell's Like Bullshit for the Big Dick link (jeez! There's just no way to make that sound good!). I already knew about Sally (that doesn't sound so good either.)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Robert Altman was my best friend



OK. That's a lie. I never knew the man. Plus I found many of his movies to be overrated, pretentious, confusing pieces of shit.

I liked M*A*S*H.

But in all of this biographical information that has been published I discovered something I never knew! He and I both worked for the same company!

The Calvin Company.

True, we worked there at different times and in vastly different capacities, but still! Fuck "six degrees of separation"...try ONE degree of separation.

All I knew about the company when I worked there in the late seventies, just before their demise, was that they processed 8mm and 16mm film. I knew nothing about their glorious past and sure as hell didn't know anything about Robert Altman.

My job was to schlep into work every morning at 7am, commuting in my piece-of-shit first car (a red, $90.00, 1963 Ford Galaxy 500) so that I could be greeted by my asshole no-sense-of-humor-former-Army-drill-seargent-on-a-pension-don't-give-a-shit-boss and spend the day processing 8mm and 16mm film through a big, smelly machine under the watchful eye of my pony-tailed stoner supervisor. Who I went out and got high with on our breaks and sipped on the beers he kept in a cooler in his car.

The coolest part of the job was that the company (which I remember as Calvin Communications; I remember it being at Troost and Truman Road) had a contract to process classified government film. In order to operate the machinery for this highly secretive film, you had to have a security clearance. Which of course none of us pre-alcoholic, ganja-loving stoners had. So whenever a reel of GUMMINT FOOTAGE came in, we would all be sent out "on break" while only those employees with the proper, Top Secret clearance would process the Army training film on the proper way to lace up a combat boot.

That allowed us to get even more stoned and drink some more beer before it got too hot in Tony's car. Not TKC Tony. A different Tony.

So yeah, I really mourn the loss of my good friend, Bobby Altman. We were sooo close. Almost like brothers, really.

sniff

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Serendipitous Good Fortune



After four and a half hours of vigurous lawn work that caused me to miss a Chiefs win against the Raiders, I witnessed an absolutely glorious sunset while simply returning my daughter to her mother.

The sunset got me thinking. If I can witness a random event of such beauty and grandeur just because I happen to be out and our planet is rotating, what other wonders of the cosmos await us?



I had planned a fairly lengthy post on the glory and vastness of the universe (with illustrations and footnotes), a discussion of the pros and cons of any possible divine aspect to the universe, and a summary of the insignificance of our petty political squabbles when you look at the Big Picture.



But before I got around to doing all that, I cooked up some tacos, turned on the cable and there was James Garner in "Support Your Local Sheriff" (1969). I had just sat down to eat and it had just started. Jack Elam, Harry Morgan, Bruce Dern, Walter Brennan. What a classic fucking movie.



Joe Danby (Bruce Dern): I hear you're gonna try and arrest me. You know you don't look near as tough as some of them other sheriffs we've had lately. Particularly that old boy that done run off about an hour and a half after he took the job.
Jason McCullough (James Garner): Joe, you just make me feel tired all over when you talk like that.
Joe Danby: Now, what do you mean by that?
Jason McCullough: It's bad enough to have to kill a man without having to listen to a whole lot of stupid talk from him first.

The pseudo-sequal to that was "Support Your Local Gunfighter" in 1971. A lot of the same folks playing different characters in a slightly different scenario, but basically a big ol' milky pull on the same udder. Every bit as funny as the first. Maybe funnier.



Latigo(James Garner): This your office?
Doc Schultz (Dub Taylor): I doctor pack mules, too. If you got a pain in the ass, you come see Doc Schultz.

It wasn't on tonight, but it's a good movie too.

If you get a chance to watch those two movies, do it.

Also check out the "Skin Game" with James Garner and Lou Gossett, Jr.



Basically, they are a couple of con men. They arrive in a town, James Garner sells Lou Gossett as a slave, Garner then secretly frees Gossett, they split the money and travel to another town and do it all over again. Hilarity ensues. Slavery has never been funnier.

Now it's 9:55 and I still have to shave my head, iron some clothes, make coffee for the morning and generally straighten shit up before hitting the bed hard.

So my extensive exposition on the nature of the universe (with illustrations), the existance (or non-existance) of god (with maybe a PowerPoint presentation and a couple of Excel speadsheets), and the place and purpose of humans in The Cosmos will have to wait because I got distracted by James Garner.

Now THAT is serendipity.



G'night, peeps.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Two Brilliant Inventions

The kid across the street came around with the catalog for his school fundraiser a few weeks ago. Candles, choclolate covered nuts, peanut brittle, wrapping paper, blah, blah, blah. All the usual overpriced useless crap that you have to buy if you want other people to buy your kid's overpriced useless crap.

That's how Western Civilization works.

Trying to lose weight so don't really need any delicious, gourmet candy arriving on my doorstep (I have a HUGE weakness for cashews covered in dark chocolate. Keep that shit away from me.) I'll wrap my families frugally-purchased Christmas presents (who knew Dollar General had such cool stuff?) in butcher paper if I've got some around. Struggling to find something I actually wanted and could use.

Then, I see THIS!



It's an adjustable measuring spoon!



Just arrived yesterday. I love this thing! Fucking brilliant! I'll give it it's first starting scrimmage on Thanksgiving day.

You probably didn't know this about XO, but I love to cook and I'm damned good at it. I chose the house I'm in right now primarily for the kitchen. That's how I get by with putting ZERO thought, effort or expense into gifts. I cook for them.


The next Brilliant Invention is simply this:



"Everybody gets those annoying phone calls. The kind where you sigh heavily, roll your eyes, and make those annoying "blah-dee-blah" hand gestures like some demented muppet that won't shut up... Believe me, we get those calls, too. We feel your pain. Luckily, we have an awesome solution.

The Excuse Box is no ordinary key tag. Its onboard memory holds 10 full minutes of environmental effects designed specifically to befuddle your annoying caller. Click on the links below, and imagine yourself gleefully escaping from an otherwise awkward and potentially trouble-filled phone call."

Like "I'm sorry. I'm gettin an oil change at Jiffy Lube (and by 'oil change at jiffy lube I mean blow job at the motel 6'). Can I call you back?"

You can learn all about it (and buy it for just thirteen bucks) HERE.


Bush Goes To Vietnam



That's funny. He didn't show any interest in traveling to Vietnam the last time he had an opportunity.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Blatant Hypocrisy



Read this post by Little Miss Chatterbox, one of the most right-wing, conservative bloggers around.

She is praising the virtues of the HBO film "Iron Jawed Angels" about the women's suffrage movement.

This just blows me away!!

Does she not realize that the Women's Suffrage Movement of the 19th century was a Liberal, Progressive Movement opposed by the very conservatives that she supports?!?

Does she not realize that if the conservatives had their way, she wouldn't even have a blog, or a vote, or a drivers license, or her own credit card.



She'd be trying to keep her apron pulled down over her unwanted pregnant belly while she struggled to get dinner fixed "on time", change the baby's diaper, light her fat-assed, lazy husband's cheap cigar and keep him supplied with fresh beers and doing it all quietly enough as to not disturb his TV viewing so she wouldn't "get taught a lesson".



It was Liberals, Progressives and so-called "activist judges" who accomplished everything she praises in "Iron Jawed Angels" and in the decades after. The conservatives of the day fought them tooth and nail every inch of the way and still begrudge them that victory. Many of today's conservatives still view giving women the right to vote as "the beginning of the end".

As recently as the 1950's, women were viewed as second-class citizens, subservient to men ("just like God intended") and not capable of intelligent, rational thought. They were too "emotional" and hostage to their "hormones".

It was Liberal and Progressive women in the 1960's who swept all of that crap away, once and for all, and allowed women like Little Miss Chatterbox to have a public voice which she uses to demean and demonize the very Liberals that freed her from servitude.



Few things piss me off more than blatant hypocrisy.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Birthdays




This post got me thinking:

"Birthdays are strange. I don't get it. You have done nothing special. It’s really just another day. All it is, really, is the anniversary of the day you were woken up and forcibly removed from a place where you were napping. Big deal. That happens to me all the time when I try to get some shut-eye at the public library. But do you see anybody baking me a cake for that? No, you do not."

The importance of "milestone birthdays" does change over time.

5 is the first Big Birthday. You start school. The beginning of socialisation and the beginning-of-the-end of your parent's monopoly on your development.

[Actually, twoish is the first really big milestone because that's when you have to start wiping your own ass. But that's really only a big deal for the parents, so I don't include it here. Plus, it comes around to bite your children again when you hit seventy or so. So be nice to your kids!]

10 is cool. It's the birthday where you hit double digits. Makes you feel "old". Which is cool when you are a kid.

At 13 you become a Teenager! Huge! Puberty, cursing, hiding shit from your parents, incoherent hormonal rages, experimentation with dangerous choices. Life becomes emotional and complicated.

14 and 15 are critical. So many choices get get made. This is really when you decide what direction your life will take. It's also the age when you are less likely to listen to you parents and more likely to listen to your friends.

At 16 you GET TO DRIVE A CAR!!! A quarter ton of hurtling metal and glass traveling at 70 mph is under your control. Now all of the choices you made between 13 and 16 become magnified by a factor of 100. Good choices become better. Bad choices become worse. Life or death. This year scares the hell out of me.

17 is the year from Hell. It just sits there between 16 and 18, taking up time. NOTHING HAPPENS. It is an ETERNITY! It's the worst, most frustrating year of a teenager's life. I wouldn't be 17 again for all the money and power in the world.

At 18 all kinds of things happen, depending on what state you live in. You go from high school to college. You might be legally considered "an adult" (a dubious and overrated distinction...one that should in no way be tied to age). You might be able to drink. You can enlist in the armed forces, fight and die for your country, even though you may not be able to vote for who is sending you there. What's wrong with THAT picture?

All of the advantages of being over 18 pretty much hold you over and keep you happy until you hit The Big One. 21. At long last! Every last privilege of life, citizenship and adulthood is yours. Just because you had a birthday. Doesn't matter how educated or mature you are. You are an American Adult with all of the Rights and Priveledges Thereof.

After that it's 29 years of absolutely meaningless, uneventful, unrewarding, mildly depressing birthdays that sneak up on you without any warning.

Then you hit 50.

You will get an invitation to join the AARP. Makes you feel "old". Which is not nearly as cool as it was when you turned 10.

The very day that paper-spam hits your mailbox, you will start having aches and pains in places you didn't know existed. You'll start worrying about your cholesterol and your blood pressure.

You will start scheduling "procedures" and "tests". You will start "tracking" things.

You will slowly but surely start eliminating, one-by-one, every "vice" that you ever considered to be an essential reason for living.

Bacon.

Biscuits and Gravy.

Steak.

Baked potatos smothered in butter, shredded cheese and sour cream.

BREAD! Lots and lots of soft, hot, buttery BREAD!

BATTERED, BREADED AND DEEP-FRIED EVERYTHING!

Give it all up.

Start "mall-walking"

Start getting free blood pressure readings at Walmart.

Start getting old.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Not A Mandate

OK, I can't find a link to it and I don't have time to search for clever graphics and pics.

But I heard Claire McCaskill say that she sees the one seat majority in the Senate as "...not a mandate, but permission to try."

I think this is exactly right.

The biggest problem I had with the pre 11/7 government was hubris. The idea that they were Right and everyone else was Wrong. No respect for any other opinions. The overwhelming arrogance that they could do whatever they wanted. Domestically or internationally. They didn't need anybody's cooperation, permission or acceptance. They had soldiers, nukes and all the money and oil they needed and they would do whatever the hell they wanted. Anybody who didn't like it could go fuck themselves.

I would caution the Democrats that I voted for; don't get cocky. If you go down the same path that the Republicans did, then I will be voting Libertarian in 2 years.

It's time for a DIFFERENT APPROACH. Not just the flip side of the same old fucking coin.

Watch your asses and don't piss me off. I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

What a beautiful day



The sun is shining, the birds are singing.

What a wonderful day to be an American.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Night



12:01am

The Dems have the House!

Repeat after me... "SPEAKER PELOSI". Wrap your lips around that and get used to the way that sounds.

Buh bye, Fatty Hastert. Go sweat on somebody else.

Oh crap. George Allen in Virginia is conceding (that's good). But he's first giving Thanks To God for something...not sure what. Reminds me of those football players who think that God cares whether or not they score a fucking touchdown.

Buh bye Macacca! Loser!

The Dems regained 4 Senate seats.

Corker (Republican) wins in Tennesee. Crap.

Two Senate seats, Missouri and Montana, are still in play and very close.

Wish I could stay up and see the finish. But it looks good for the Dems in Mo. Could be the deciding race.

We may actually take the Senate as well as the house. Dubya will be ALL ALONE. Poor baby.

Gotta get to bed! I have one of the few jobs available in our economy. Want to keep it!

Good night!

Election Day


Two of the most extreme, right-wing blogs on The Internets have banned me from posting on their sites.

This one

http://mikesamerica.blogspot.com/

and this one

http://chatterboxchronicles.blogspot.com/

My crime? Posting comments with views that differed from theirs. They are so scared of losing this election, they can't tolerate any opinions other than their own.

I would invite you to go to their sites, read my comments, and decide for yourself. But you can't. Those comments have been edited or deleted. Because the site owners disagreed with them.

Yet I still have links to them on my site. And I have never, ever banned anyone from posting on my site or edited anyone's comments.

Keep that in mind as you vote today. The Republicans want a world where there is only one opinion, only one choice, only one policy and all dissent is silenced.

That is not the America I grew up in. It's not the America our founding fathers believed in. It's not the America described in our Constitution.

Go vote. Take America back from the facists. Restore freedom in America.

Enough is enough.

It's time for a regime change.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

This Is Freaking Me Out!!

I moved to Liberty from Richmond about 18 months ago. Cut my commute to EVERYWHERE ON EARTH by about half. Before I moved, I had this little kitten named Frodo. Appropriatly name because shortly after I adopted him he went on a little "adventure" in the walls of my 115 year old house. Thought I was gonna have to fuck up the walls to get the little meowing bastard out of there before he died and started stinking up the joint. Finally lured him out with an open can of tuna next to the washing machine. Anyway, this is Frodo:



Cute little fucker, aint he? My daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis just loved him.

Now I probably don't strike most of you as being a pet-kinda-person. And you'd be right. I got kind of a weird history with pets.

EPISODE 1: Back in '92 when I moved back here from NJ, I had an apartment up on the top floor of the Bicycle Club apartments off of Barry Road. I was recently divorced from Mrs Onassis I and living alone, when some acquaintence decided I needed a couple of kittens to keep me company. So they leave 'em in a box on my doorstep. I didn't know what to do with the fuckers, so I put them out on my balcony. I tell myself "Cats aren't stupid. They aren't going to make a 2-3 story leap. They'll be fine! Where they gonna go?" Well, either these cats were stupid, or suicidally depressed at the thought of relying on me to meet their basic needs, or there was a hawk patrolling the neighborhood, or sumpthin', 'cause next morning, the kittens were gone. No little kitty corpses in the bushes (vote democratic) downstairs. They're just gone.

EPISODE 2: When I met the bitch who would someday become Mrs Onassis II, she had a dog. We were going for a jeep ride with the top off one beautiful spring day and I says to her "Let's take Misty with us!" I don't want the dumb mutt jumping out of the jeep at highway speeds, so I put her on a short leash tied to my roll bar with the back seat folded down (the dog, not the gf). That works fine until we stop for gas. Then she jumps out. But the leash is too short. She's hanging off the side of my jeep from the roll bar, legs flailing away with this really surprised look on her face. I have to rush to get her loose before someone calls the SPCA on me for mistreating my girlfriends dog.

EPISODE 3: After me and Mrs Onassis II were married and living in Richmond, a friend asked us to take care of her parokeet, "HD" (Harley Davidson). Tht lasted about a week. Then he managed to escape. We tried to lure him back. We could see his green and yellow ass up in the neighbor's tree. We called for him. But he wouldn't come back. Bye bye, birdie.

EPISODE 4: Then there was the dog we had in Richmond. He was a nice enough dog at one time. But the teenaged foster kid we had liked to "play rough" with him. Get him all worked up. After that, my daughter couldn't go near him because he played too rough and wanted to jump up on her all the time. He was a "ruined dog" and I had to keep him chained up out in the yard all the time. Well, there came a time when I was going to be recovering from surgery and staying with a friend in Blue Springs. I didn't have anyone to take care of the dog. So I figured I'd just let him lose to fend for himself for a few weeks. He'd be fine!! Last I saw of him was the view out the back window of the car as he raced to keep up with us. He couldn't do 65 mph and I never saw him again.

EPISODE 5: Then there was the girlfriend's dog. It was huge. She was moving from a duplex where she could have a dog to one where she couldn't. She just needed someone to keep her dog for a few weeks, until she could make other arrangements. Well, I don't like big dogs, but I do like big boobies and I was crazy about this woman. So I agreed to keep her dog. Rigged up a nice big dog run with aircraft cable and everything. I took great care of that dog because a) the gf was smokin' hot! and b) I knew it was temporary. Woke up one morning and the dog was gone. Collar was still attached to the end of the leash, but the dog was gone. We aren't together anymore. Golly I miss those boobies.

BACK TO THE STORY: OK. As I was saying, I had this little kitten in Richmond named Frodo. My girlfriend (most likely the future Ex Mrs Onassis III, if she plays her cards right!) had recently got herself a little kitten (she named him Ollie...later she accidentilly ran over him in the driveway, called me in hysteria and I had to come dispose of the body). Seeing her play with her kitten hit a soft spot with me and I went and got Frodo. One day, Frodo committed some long forgotten indiscretion so I put him outside. Musta pissed him off because he never came back.

Then I sell the house in Richmond, move to Liberty, rent a wonderful house and I'm here for 18 months.

Then this cat starts showing up and hanging around.

He looks just like Frodo.

My daughter was over this weekend with a friend of hers and they see the cat. She swears it's Frodo. I recognized the markings on his chest, she said that his whiskers and feet are a match too. She tells me a story about a family that moved from California to Texas and their cat tracked them down over 1800 miles and found them!

So, here are pictures of the Frodo that I knew as a kitten in Richmond, and the mysterious cat that has been hanging around my house in the last few weeks. You tell me. Is this the same cat?




This is some spooky shit!

Is it Frodo?

If it is, has he hunted me down out of love, or revenge?

If I let him into the house am I repenting my pet-sins and ensuring my salvation or sealing my doom by giving him the opportunity to knock over a candle and cause some tragic "accident"?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Your President Is A Bufoon


All quotes shown here collected and compiled here.

When you're out there campaigning and talking to people, remind them what we have been through as a country. We've been through a recession - that means we're going backwards.
- George W. Bush, Hudson, Wisconsin, Aug. 18, 2004

Investment means you're purchasing something, and somebody has to make that which you purchase and sell that which you purchase. And that's how the economy works.
- George W. Bush, Hudson, Wisconsin, Aug. 18, 2004

I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'
- George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

Saddam Hussein paid the families of suiciders.
- George W. Bush,, Las Vegas, Nevada, Aug. 12, 2004

That's why you've got to be careful about this rhetoric, we're only going to tax the rich. You know who the - the rich in America happen to be the small business owners. That's what that means.
- George W. Bush, Annandale, Virginia, Aug. 9, 2004

The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway.
- George W. Bush, explaining why he won't tax the rich, Annandale, Virginia, Aug. 9, 2004

As you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's - ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions - you can't - we're out of sanctions.
- George W. Bush, forgetting about America's arms sales to Iran, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a - you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

I cut the taxes on everybody. I didn't cut them. The Congress cut them. I asked them to cut them.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

I wish I wasn't the war president. Who in the heck wants to be a war president? I don't.
- George W. Bush, forgetting that he has launched wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

We stand for things.
- George W. Bush, Davenport, Iowa, Aug. 5, 2004

Give me a chance to be your president and America will be safer and stronger and better.
- George W. Bush, forgetting that he is still the president, Marquette, Michigan, July 13, 2004

I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn’t do my job.
- George W. Bush, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, Jul. 9, 2004

I mean, if you've ever been a governor of a state, you understand the vast potential of broadband technology, you understand how hard it is to make sure that physics, for example, is taught in every classroom in the state. It's difficult to do. It's, like, cost-prohibitive.
- George W. Bush, D.C., June 24, 2004

And I am an optimistic person. I guess if you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look, you know?
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 15, 2004

I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.
- George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

Like you, I have been disgraced about what I've seen on TV that took place in prison.
- George W. Bush, Parkersburg, West Virginia, May 13, 2004

This has been tough weeks in that country.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2004

Earlier today, the Libyan government released Fathi Jahmi. She's a local government official who was imprisoned in 2002 for advocating free speech and democracy.
- George W. Bush, citing Jahmi, who is a man, in a speech paying tribute to women reformers during International Women's Week, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2004

The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens -- she calls me, 'George W.' -- 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway -- she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen.
- George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004

God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear.
- George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004

Recession means that people's incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 19, 2004

The march to war affected the people's confidence. It's hard to make investment. See, if you're a small business owner or a large business owner and you're thinking about investing, you've got to be optimistic when you invest. Except when you're marching to war, it's not a very optimistic thought, is it? In other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war.
- George W. Bush, Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004

But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves.
- George W. Bush, Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004

In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences.
- George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

There is no such thing necessarily in a dictatorial regime of iron-clad absolutely solid evidence. The evidence I had was the best possible evidence that he had a weapon.
- George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been -- some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started -- but nevertheless, it happened as we showed up here. The attacks on our country affected our economy. Corporate scandals affected the confidence of people and therefore affected the economy. My decision on Iraq, this kind of march to war, affected the economy.
- George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

My views are one that speaks to freedom.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office -- I love to bring people into the Oval Office -- right around the corner from here -- and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than — I say more Muslims — a lot of Muslims have died — I don't know the exact count — at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter.
- George W. Bush, advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004

I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004

I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons.
- George W. Bush, to Argentine President Nestor Kirchner, on being told that all but one of the Argentine delegates to a summit meeting were imprisoned during the military dictatorship, Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 13, 2004

One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor -- the president -- governor -- president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him -- get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq -- and at that same -- right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States -- a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004

And if you're interested in the quality of education and you're paying attention to what you hear at Laclede, why don't you volunteer? Why don't you mentor a child how to read?
- George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mo., Jan. 5, 2004

So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well.
- George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mos., Jan. 5, 2004

I want to remind you all that in order to fight and win the war, it requires an expenditure of money that is commiserate with keeping a promise to our troops to make sure that they're well-paid, well-trained, well-equipped.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

See, without the tax relief package, there would have been a deficit, but there wouldn't have been the commiserate -- not 'commiserate' -- the kick to our economy that occurred as a result of the tax relief.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

The Iraqis need to be very much involved. They were the people that was brutalized by this man.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

Justice was being delivered to a man who defied that gift from the Almighty to the people of Iraq.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

This very week in 1989, there were protests in East Berlin and in Leipzig. By the end of that year, every communist dictatorship in Central America had collapsed.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 6, 2003

As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003

The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the -- the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

Whether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., October 8, 2003

See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction.
- George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information -- outside the administration.
- George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

We've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are.
- George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

There's a lot of neighborliness taking place in the state of Virginia and North Carolina and Maryland, where if somebody hurts and somebody's lonely, somebody needs help is finding refuge and solace because a fellow citizen has taken it upon him or herself to help somebody in need.
- George W. Bush, Richmond, Virginia, Sep. 22, 2003

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

I'm so pleased to be able to say hello to Bill Scranton. He's one of the great Pennsylvania political families.
- George W. Bush, Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania, Sep. 15, 2003

And finally, Mayor Al is with us, the Mayor of Monroe. Al Cappuccilli is here. Thank you, Mayor, for being with us. You must be filling the potholes. Picking up the garbage. That's the way to go.
- George W. Bush, Monroe, Michigan, Sep. 15, 2003

Sometimes it's not easy to be the friend of George W. Bush -- I know that. If you know what I mean.
- George W. Bush, Houston, Texas, Sep. 12, 2003

My call, however, to nations is, is that let us not get caught up in past bickering.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sep. 10, 2003

I appreciate Dwight Adams, who is the Director of the FBI Laboratory. He just gave me a fine tour. It's pretty sophisticated facilities.
- George W. Bush, Quantico, Virginia, Sep. 10, 2003

I want to thank General John Fryer, the Superintendent of Schools here. I thought it was pretty interesting, when I was reading the background of the schools here, I see that you got you a general running the school system.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003

She is a fabulous First Lady. I was a lucky man when she said, yes, I agree to marry you. I love her dearly, and I'm proud of the job she's doing on behalf of all Americans. Just like I love my brother.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003

I learned some pretty interesting lessons as the governor. And one lesson is that in order for schools to succeed, you'd better have you a good principal.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003

We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003

As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003

I'm a follower of American politics.
- George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003

We had a good Cabinet meeting, talked about a lot of issues. Secretary of State and Defense brought us up to date about our desires to spread freedom and peace around the world.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 1, 2003

Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

By making the right choices, we can make the right choice for our future.
- George W. Bush, Dallas, Texas, Jul. 18, 2003

Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous. We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're very generous.
- George W. Bush, bragging about not bragging, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003

It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America.
- George W. Bush, Dakar, Senegal, July 8, 2003

My answer is bring them on.
- On Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces, George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

You've also got to measure in order to begin to effect change that's just more — when there's more than talk, there's just actual—a paradigm shift.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 1, 2003

I urge the leaders in Europe and around the world to take swift, decisive action against terror groups such as Hamas, to cut off their funding, and to support - cut funding and support, as the United States has done.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 25, 2003

Iran would be dangerous if they have a nuclear weapon.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 18, 2003

Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history - revisionist historians is what I like to call them.
- George W. Bush, Elizabeth, N.J., June 16, 2003

I am determined to keep the process on the road to peace.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2003

The true strength of America happens when a neighbor loves a neighbor just like they'd like to be loved themselves.
- George W. Bush, Elizabeth, N.J., June 16, 2003

We are making steadfast progress.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 9, 2003

I'm the master of low expectations.
- George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.
- George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

Oftentimes, we live in a processed world - you know, people focus on the process and not results.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdallah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

All up and down the different aspects of our society, we had meaningful discussions. Not only in the Cabinet Room, but prior to this and after this day, our secretaries, respective secretaries, will continue to interact to create the conditions necessary for prosperity to reign.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

We've had a great weekend here in the Land of the Enchanted.
- George W. Bush, Albuquerque, N.M., May 12, 2003 (New Mexico's state nickname is "Land of Enchantment")

I think war is a dangerous place.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure.
- George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, May 3, 2003

We've got hundreds of sites to exploit, looking for the chemical and biological weapons that we know Saddam Hussein had prior to our entrance into Iraq.
- George W. Bush, Santa Clara, Calif., May 2, 2003

I don't bring God into my life to - to, you know, kind of be a political person.
- George W. Bush, interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003

You're free, and freedom is beautiful...and, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order - order out of chaos, but we will.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

All of us need to step back and try to figure out how to make the U.N. work better as we head into the 21st century. Perhaps one way will be, if we use military force, in the post-Saddam Iraq the U.N. will definitely need to have a role. And that way it can begin to get its legs, legs of responsibility back.
- George W. Bush, unaware that we already are in the 21st century and coining a bizarre term "legs of responsibility," Lajes, Azores, Mar. 16, 2003

I described them [Iraq] as the axis of evil once. I described them as an enemy until proven otherwise. They obviously, you know, desire weapons of mass destruction. I presume that he still views us as an enemy.
- George W. Bush, showing that he believes all countries are guilty until proven innocent, Ridgewood Country Club, Waco, Texas, Mar. 10, 2003

I've not made up our mind about military action.
- George W. Bush, press conference, White House, Mar. 6, 2003

This is a -- a regional issue. I say a regional issue because -- there's a lot of countries that have got a direct stake into whether or not North Korea has nukyular weapons. We've got a stake as to whether North Korea has a nukyular weapon. China clearly has a stake as to whether or not North Korea has a nukyular weapon. South Korea, of course, has a stake. Japan has got a significant stake as to whether or not North Korea has a nukyular weapon.
- George W. Bush, having difficulty pronouncing the word "nuclear," press conference, White House, Mar. 6, 2003

I was disappointed that the Congress did not respond to the $3.5 billion we asked for. They not only reduced the budget that we asked for, they earmarked a lot of the money. That's a disappointment, a disappointment when the executive branch gets micromanaged by the legislative branch.
- George W. Bush, objecting to the form of democracy he is willing to kill for, Washington, D.C., Feb. 24, 2003

And I look forward to working with Congress. As you know, appropriators are appropriators. They live up to their name, whether they be Republicans or Democrats. They like to appropriate. And our jobs as chief executives is to make sure they appropriate within reasonable levels.
- George W. Bush, showing that his disdain for the legislative branch of government crosses party lines, Washington, D.C., Feb. 24, 2003

Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement - retiring - in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring.
- George W. Bush, Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003

[The Space Shuttle] Columbia carried in its payroll classroom experiments from some of our students in America.
- George W. Bush, Bethesda, Md., Feb. 3, 2003

And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 30, 2003

The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.
- George W. Bush, Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 22, 2003

One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 8, 2003

The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2002

I think the American people - I hope the American - I don't think, let me - I hope the American people trust me.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002.

In other words, I don't think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family.
- George W. Bush, on smallpox vaccinations, Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002

The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 27, 2002

I know something about being a government. And you've got a good one.
- George W. Bush, campaigning for Gov. Mike Huckabee, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 4, 2002

These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out.
- George W. Bush, speaking about terrorists, Portsmouth, N.H., Nov. 1, 2002

I need to be able to move the right people to the right place at the right time to protect you, and I'm not going to accept a lousy bill out of the United Nations Senate.
- George W. Bush, South Bend, Ind., Oct. 31, 2002

John Thune has got a common-sense vision for good forest policy. I look forward to working with him in the United Nations Senate to preserve these national heritages.
- George W. Bush, Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

Any time we've got any kind of inkling that somebody is thinking about doing something to an American and something to our homeland, you've just got to know we're moving on it, to protect the United Nations Constitution, and at the same time, we're protecting you.
- George W. Bush, Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will.
- George W. Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002

Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money.
- George W. Bush, Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
- George W. Bush, Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

You see, the Senate wants to take away some of the powers of the administrative branch.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
- George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

See, we love - we love freedom. That's what they didn't understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don't seek revenge, we seek justice out of love.
- George W. Bush, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

There's no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide.
- George W. Bush, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

President Musharraf, he's still tight with us on the war against terror, and that's what I appreciate. He's a - he understands that we've got to keep Al Qaeda on the run, and that by keeping him on the run, it's more likely we will bring him to justice.
- George W. Bush, Ruch, Ore., Aug. 22, 2002

I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man. Nothing he [Saddam Hussein] has done has convinced me - I'm confident the Secretary of Defense - that he is the kind of fellow that is willing to forgo weapons of mass destruction, is willing to be a peaceful neighbor, that is - will honor the people - the Iraqi people of all stripes, will - values human life. He hasn't convinced me, nor has he convinced my administration.
- George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 21, 2002

I'm thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America - we can feed ourselves.
- George W. Bush, Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

The federal government and the state government must not fear programs who change lives, but must welcome those faith-based programs for the embetterment of mankind.
- George W. Bush, Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.
- George W. Bush, speaking at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

Tommy (Thompson) is a good listener, and he's a pretty good actor, too.
- George W. Bush, confusing his Health and Human Services secretary with Sen. Fred Thompson, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again.
- George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

The trial lawyers are very politically powerful. … But here in Texas we took them on and got some good medical
- medical malpractice.
- George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society.
- George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

I love the idea of a school in which people come to get educated and stay in the state in which they're educated.
- George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Aug. 14, 2002

The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur.
- George W. Bush, discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

There was no malfeance involved. This was an honest disagreement about accounting procedures. ... There was no malfeance, no attempt to hide anything.
- George W. Bush, White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002

I also understand how tender the free enterprise system can be.
- George W. Bush, White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002

Over 75 percent of white Americans own their home, and less than 50 percent of Hispanos and African Americans don't own their home. And that's a gap, that's a homeownership gap. And we've got to do something about it.
- George W. Bush, Cleveland, Ohio, July 1, 2002

Do you have blacks, too?
- George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso

I'd rather have them sacrificing on behalf of our nation than, you know, endless hours of testimony on congressional hill.
- George W. Bush, Fort Meade, Maryland, June 4, 2002

We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator.
- George W. Bush, to community and religious leaders in Moscow, May 24, 2002

We're working with Chancellor Schröder on what's called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U.S.,$10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securitize the dismantling - the dismantled nuclear warheads.
- George W. Bush, Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002

After all, a week ago, there were - Yasser Arafat was boarded up in his building in Ramallah, a building full of, evidently, German peace protestors and all kinds of people. They're now out. He's now free to show leadership, to lead the world.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2002

The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society.
- George W. Bush, May 1, 2002

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.
- George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 10, 2002

Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of 'Hop on Pop.'
- George W. Bush, in a speech about childhood education, Washington, D.C., April 2, 2002

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
- George W. Bush

We've tripled the amount of money - I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available.
- George W. Bush, Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002

We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat - I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit.
- George W. Bush, O'Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002

I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all. ... I can't think of anything more deep than that right.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific.
- George W. Bush, who apparently forgot about a little something called World War II, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

He [Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi] said I want to make it very clear to you exactly what I intend to do and he talked about non-performing loans, the devaluation issue and regulatory reform and he placed equal emphasis on all three.
- George W. Bush, who had meant to say the deflation issue rather than the devaluation issue, and accidentally sent the Japanese Yen tumbling, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.
- George W. Bush, at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

The folks who conducted to act on our country on September 11th made a big mistake. They underestimated America. They underestimated our resolve, our determination, our love for freedom. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2001

One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a - a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone.
- George W. Bush, Denver, Aug. 14, 2001

There's a lot of people in the Middle East who are desirous to get into the Mitchell process. And - but first things first. The - these terrorist acts and, you know, the responses have got to end in order for us to get the framework - the groundwork - not framework, the groundwork to discuss a framework for peace, to lay the-all right.
- George W. Bush, referring to former Sen. George Mitchell's report on Middle East peace, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 13, 2001

My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the - in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen.
- George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
- George W. Bush, July 27, 2001

You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles.
- Goerge W. Bush, referring to his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, July 23, 2001

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
- George W. Bush, in Rome, July 22, 2001

It is white.
- George W. Bush, asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I - it's - I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values.
- George W. Bush, visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001

I want to thank you for coming to the White House to give me an opportunity to urge you to work with these five senators and three congressmen, to work hard to get this trade promotion authority moving. The power that be, well most of the power that be, sits right here.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 18, 2001

We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.
- George W. Bush, at a news conference in Europe, June 14, 2001

I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't.
- George W. Bush, referring to the McCain-Kennedy patients' bill of rights, June 13, 2001

Can't living with the bill means it won't become law.
- George W. Bush, referring to the McCain-Kennedy patients' bill of rights, June 13, 2001

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious - I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.
- George W. Bush, June 4, 2001

It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots.
- George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001

So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.
- George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.
- George W. Bush, May 22, 2001

For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it.
- George W. Bush, May 14

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.
- George W. Bush, May 11, 2001

But I also made it clear to (Vladimir Putin) that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.
- George W. Bush, May 1, 2001

First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country.
- George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001

It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce.
- George W. Bush, at the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City, April 21, 2001

Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.
- George W. Bush, declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children.
- George W. Bush, on parental empowerment in education, April 12, 2001

I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better.
- George W. Bush, April 11, 2001

This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
- George W. Bush, April 10, 2001

It would be helpful if we opened up ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge). I think it's a mistake not to. And I would urge you all to travel up there and take a look at it, and you can make the determination as to how beautiful that country is.
- George W. Bush, at a White House Press conference, March 29, 2001


I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.
- George W. Bush, speaking at the Radio & Television Correspondents dinner, March 29, 2001

A lot of times in the rhetoric, people forget the facts. And the facts are that thousands of small businesses - Hispanically owned or otherwise - pay taxes at the highest marginal rate.
- George W. Bush, speaking to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, March 19, 2001

But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the-that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans.
- George W. Bush, in a media roundtable discussion, March 13, 2001

I do think we need for a troop to be able to house his family. That's an important part of building morale in the military.
- George W. Bush, speaking at Tyndall Air Force Base in Florida, March 12, 2001

I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address-state of the budget address, whatever you call it.
- George W. Bush, in an interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001

Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open.
- George W. Bush, at the swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman, March 2, 2001

My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt.
- George W. Bush, in his budget address to Congress, Feb. 27, 2001

I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese - that meant that they weren't very effective.
- George W. Bush, during a White House press conference, Feb. 22, 2001

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
- George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001

It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national - really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it.
- George W. Bush, Feb. 8, 2001

We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House - make no mistake about it.
- George W. Bush, Feb. 7, 2001

There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.
- George W. Bush, speaking to Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2001

I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.
- George W. Bush, speaking to reporters, Jan. 29, 2001

Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to - I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that.
- George W. Bush, in a pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report

Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.
- George W. Bush, Jan. 2001

I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.
- George W. Bush, Jan. 2001

The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants.
- George W. Bush, Jan. 2001

If he's - the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a - is a noble institution I would - I would strongly reject that assumption - that John Ashcroft is a open-minded, inclusive person.
- George W. Bush, Jan. 2001

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal - Antonio.
- George W. Bush, on Laura Bush inviting Justice Antonin Scalia to dinner at the White House, Jan. 2001

I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be - a more literate country and a hopefuller country. -George W. Bush, Jan. 2001

It'll be hard to articulate.
- George W. Bush, anticipating how he'll feel upon assuming the presidency, Jan. 2001

I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified.
- George W. Bush, commenting on Linda Chavez, Jan. 2001

Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.
- George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000

I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them.
- George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000

I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida.
- George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000

If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier - so long as I'm the dictator.
- George W. Bush, Dec. 19, 2000

The great thing about America is everybody should vote.
- George W. Bush

As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker.
- George W. Bush

The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law.
- George W. Bush, Nov. 2000

They misunderestimated me.
- George W. Bush, Nov. 2000

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
- George W. Bush

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.
- George W. Bush

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
- George W. Bush

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.
- George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate

The idea of putting subliminal messages into ads is ridiculous.
- George W. Bush

One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected. -George W. Bush

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.
- George W. Bush

We ought to make the pie higher.
- George W. Bush

Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is - I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president.
- George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate, Oct. 2000

The woman who knew that I had dyslexia - I never interviewed her.
- George W. Bush, responding to a magazine article claiming he suffered from dyslexia

Laura and I are proud to call John and Michelle Engler our friends. I know you're proud to call him governor. What a good man the Englers are.
- George W. Bush, Nov. 2000

Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.
- George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 2000

We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.''
- George W. Bush

I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read - I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do.
- George W. Bush, on MSNBC's Hardball

The fact that he relies on facts - says things that are not factual - are going to undermine his campaign.
- George W. Bush on Al Gore

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.
- George W. Bush

This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve.
- George W. Bush, speaking during Perseverance Month at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, New Hampshire

The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.
- George W. Bush, on Sen. John McCain

When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there.
- George W. Bush, Jan. 2000

I don't want to win? If that were the case, why the heck am I on the bus sixteen hours a day, shaking thousands of hands, giving hundreds of speeches, getting pillared in the press and cartoons and still staying on message to win?
- George W. Bush, Jan. 2000

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.
- George W. Bush

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
- George W. Bush

Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?
- George W. Bush

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
- George W. Bush

Actually, I - this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about - when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.
- George W. Bush

I was raised in the West. The West of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
- George W. Bush

Hiller: "Can you name the president of Chechnya?"
Bush: "No, can you?"
Hiller: "Can you name the president of Taiwan?"
Bush: "Yeah, Lee."
Hiller: "Can you name the general who is in charge of Pakistan?"
Bush: "Wait, wait, is this 50 questions?"
Hiller: "No, it's four questions of four leaders in four hot spots."
Bush: "The new Pakistani general, he's just been elected, not elected, this guy took over office. It appears this guy is going to bring stability to the country and I think that's good news for the sub-continent."
Hiller: "Can you name him?"
Bush: "General. I can't name the general. General."
Hiller: "And the prime minister of India?"
Bush: "The new prime minister of India is - (pause) No."
Then Bush hit back.
Bush: "Can you name the foreign minister of Mexico?"
Hiller: "No sir, but I would say to that, I'm not running for President."
- Interviewed by Andy Hiller, political correspondent for WHDH-TV, Nov. 3, 1999

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