Thursday, August 30, 2007

"Thank you for coming OUT today."

"I hope you appreciate my openness to all of you."


Ewwww.



Anytime you have to call a press conference and make a point of telling people that "I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis airport", chances are, you did something wrong at the Minneapolis airport.

If you have to tell your constituents "I am not gay, I never have been gay."; yeah, you're gay.

Am I the only one who giggles everytime he refers to "my staff"?

Or "IdaHOans".

"I tend to spread my legs as I lower my pants."



Spanky spanky!!


I think I now have enough evidence to conclude that ALL right-wing, neo-con, Republican blowhards (no pun intended) are closeted homosexuals.

Not that there's anything wrong with that (unless you are also a blatant hypocrite).

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

It's Wednesday! Time For....

RED STATE UPDATE!!

REPUBLICAN HYPOCRITS


CANDIDRATES ADDRESS VFW IN KANSAS CITY!


THE Attorney General and THE NUGE

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Stuff that may be for sale soon

A 72" wide desk.


An entertainment center for a 25" TV.


Cherry bookshelves and a leather glider.


China hutch.



Dining room table and 6 chairs. Table is 70" long. Leaf adds another 18".

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Blog Tools

Most of you probably already know this shit or have even better tools for doing this stuff. But I would appreciate it if you UberUsers could just shut the fuck up for 24 hours and let me appear like a Blogger God to those newbies who haven't yet graduated beyond my lame-ass blog to more sophisticated fare.
(but please email me privately with urls for that other cool stuff! thanks! shhhh!)

KEEPING UP WITH YOUR BLOG BUDDIES
Do you use Yahoo Mail? See that little scrolling directory on the left? Look down to where it says RSS Feeds. You can add your favorite blogs there so that whenever they have a new post, the name of their blog is all emboldened. Checking every blog you love all at once is as easy as checking your email. You'll have to click on the appropriate links and figure out how to do it yourself (just like I did). This is Hip Suburban White Guy, not Nerds R Us.

KEEPING UP WITH YOUR BITCH FIGHTS
I routinely patrol my favorite blogs for interesting posts and look for opportunities to leave comments. I do this for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that commenting on someone else's blog takes a lot less thought, creativity and effort than dreaming up something clever to post on my own blog. Often, my comments can be as simple as "BUSH SUCKS ASS!" or, the ever popular and erudite "YEAH? WELL FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!!". Again, it's quick, it's easy, it doesn't take much thought and it lets people know you care.

The second reason I try to leave a lot of comments is incredibly selfish. If someone is following a popular blog with a well reasoned, critical analysis of America's foreign policy as it relates to macro geo-political concepts and the real consequences of strategic and tactical actions by current and former Super Powers, and they stumble across one of my comments that says "I LIKE PONY'S!!" or "I'M A GOOD LITTLE DOGGY!!", they will often click on my profile. If they read my profile and see that I have a blog, they will click and visit. That drives up my hit counter and makes me feel good about myself. I'm a cheap fucking whore like that.

The problem is that I'm often blasted out of my mind on paint fumes, prescription pain killers and Jack Daniels. That makes it difficult to remember what comments I left where (or, as I like to think of it, 'which punch bowls I plopped the turds in').

Luckily, the folks over at Blog Flux have a service called Commentful. After you comment on a blog post, you click on the permanant link to that post thread. Copy that URL and paste it into your Commentful Watchlist. Then you can just go to the Commentful website, check your Watchlist, and see who has added comments after yours! That allows you to make witty retorts such as "I ATE TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE AND HAVE A BAD CASE OF THE DRIZZLY SHITS!!", further confounding your critics and driving even more hits to your blog.

KEEPING UP WITH YOUR EMAIL ACCOUNTS
Most of us have multiple email accounts these days.

There is the "official" email account that you use for "official business". This is the one you put on your resume' and give to your family.

Then there is your "online dating" or "lying, cheating, affair-having" email account. This is the one with addresses like "lookingforlove@whatever", "lonelytoolong@imaloser" or "notawifebeater@dontbeafraid".

And of course, the address you use to sign up for porn sites. "imnotme@nowhere" or "notreallyintomidgets@justkidding".

There is a really cool service called "ePrompter". It's free and you can enter up to something like 16 completely misleading and incognito email addresses. The ePrompter will go out, log in and check all of your email addresses every 15 minutes and tell you which ones have unread mail. Each site has a color coded little ball so you can tell at a glance whether it is your wife or mother in law responding to your kid's latest school photos, or that sleazy little slut in Omaha who wants to rock your world and wreck your marriage. All with a click of a mouse!

Just thought you should know.

We May Have A Weiner

I've been looking for a new place to live.

I really like the Cedar Brook Apartments in Independence.

My ex-step-daughter used to live there and I liked them then. Lots of charming features that you just can't find anywhere else. And the price can't be beat. It will be like getting a $200-$300 a month raise. And a swimming pool.

I'll have to downsize and sell some stuff. Like my 72" cherry executive office desk, 5 cherry bookcases and the books therein, an entertainment center that will accomodate a 25" TV and numerous audio visual components. A refridgerator, a gas stove, a washer and dryer. Definitely a nice china hutch and possibly a dining room table and six chairs.

If any of you have any personal experiences with Cedar Brook, I'd be very interested to hear from you. If any of you think you might want any of the stuff I will be shedding, I would also be interested in hearing from you in that regard. It's really nice stuff. I'd like to see it go to a good home.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Well, that was a waste of time.

Sexy Activists Bare All, Plead for Plaid Purveyor to Pitch Pelts

"For Immediate Release:
August 22, 2007

Contact:
Matt Rice 757-622-7382


Kansas City, Mo - Wearing nothing but spatters of fake blood and body paint that mimics Burberry's signature pattern and holding posters that read, "When Plaid Goes Bad," sultry PETA beauties will protest outside a Burberry store in Kansas City tomorrow. Other PETA members will hand out leaflets and show PETA's fur-farm expose--narrated by world-famous fashion designer Stella McCartney--to let shoppers know how countless animals suffer and die to become part of a Burberry coat.

Date: Thursday, August 23
Time: 12 noon
Place: Outside Burberry, 444 Nichols Rd.


PETA showed Burberry executives video footage of how animals caught in traps often resort to chewing off their own legs in order to escape and how animals on fur farms are gassed, electrocuted, or have their necks broken, yet Burberry continues to sell fur.


"I'll gladly bare my skin if it will help save animals' skins," says PETA's Melissa Sehgal. "Even in the 21st century--with so many stylish, comfortable alternatives to fur available--Burberry is supporting one of the most hideous industries on the planet."


Well, I couldn't resist the prospect of a bevy of blood-spattered naked beauties yelling and protesting and being roughly handcuffed and hauled off by the police for being nekkid in public and creating a disturbance!

So I headed down to The Plaza, camera in hand, to document the debauchery. You know, for my blog...to inform the public...that whole journalist ethic thing.

And to see some nooner boobies, 'cause I'm a pig like that.

What a waste of gas and time.


That was it. The entire fucking "protest".


If there was any "blood-spattering", I didn't see it. Just a badly rendered "Burberry Check" pattern. I could have done it better. And cheaper. Might have taken me a bit longer, but I'm a stickler for detail. I'm just anal like that.


She wasn't even NAKED, as advertised. She was wearing panties, paint, heels and she was holding a sign covering the fun bags.

It wasn't even enough of a "protest" or a distraction to bother the police. Even the two rent-a-cops looked bored.


It might have been worth the trip if the lone "sultry PETA beauty" had washed that shit off, gone across the street and started trying on lingerie.


I hate it when people waste my time with false promises.

Did I mention that they were protesting Burberry's?


Here is a link to their web site. Judging by their models and clothes, they seem to cater to terminally-hip eurotrash. But I encourage all of my readers to buy something from Burberry's. Find the cheapest thing they sell and buy one of them a month. Then send it to PETA.

Lying, misleading fucktards.

I'd post more, but in the last few days (not sure exactly when or where) someone herded a well fed cow into a killing pen, sledgehammered the shit out of it, hauled it up by it's hind legs, slit it's throat, bled it, sliced it up, ground it up and shipped a 1 lb package of 80% lean hamburger to my local Price Chopper where I bought it, brought it home and am about to turn it into some delicious tacos which I will eat while watching the totally meaningless pre-season Chief's game against New Orleans.

I wonder if the shredded cheese that I sprinkle over the carefully cooked and seasoned taco meat was made from milk that came from the same cow?

PETA...People Eating Tasty Animals! YUM!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

And, finally....

Red State Updates!!

On Ranking Republican Candidates




On Candidates Children

Air Force One

Okay. Now that I have that off my chest...

I've always wondered whether or not Air Force One had a fighter escort when travelling from place to place. If not, why not? If so, why haven't we heard anything about it?

My guess is that Air Force One either has a fighter escort that just keeps a low profile, or, there are fighters with pilots sitting in the cockpits with engines running, ready to scramble on afterburners at each stretch of the trip who can be airborne and wingtip to wingtip with the president in seconds.

But I say, fuck the low profile.

Show binnis is my life. I'm all about the theatrics, baby.

I think that everywhere Air Force One goes, it should have a heavily armed, highly visible, precision flying, fighter-plane Color Guard.

This, is Air Force One.



Beautiful fucking plane!

Imagine Air Force One with a fighter escort of 6 F-22 Raptors, armed to the teeth with state-of-the-art weaponry and avionics, with complimentary, Air Force Oneish paint schemes, all flying in formation...Air Force One in the lead, three fighters completing the V on each wingtip.


(I'm no artist. You'll have to use your imagination. If any web-wizards have a talent for rendering 3D models, maybe they can give us a prototype of what they would look like. That would be cool.)

After Air Force One touches down somplace, the fighter escort can kick off their afterburners, head for the stars, and give a little presidential flourish, maybe even streaming red, white and blue smoke.


In fact, I would go so far as to recommend that the Presidential Escort be composed exclusively of Naval Aviators who are all former Blue Angels.

Give them a cool name like "VF-1: The Guardians" or something.

Not only could they actually provide real, true, badass protection to Air Force One in transit, but they could be Goodwill Ambassadors in foreign countries by giving free, precision-flying airshows in countries all around the world.

Add a bit of monastic mystery by never showing their faces, giving interviews or revealing their names. They are just Guardian One, or Guardian Two, etc.

Picture this all tricked out in Presidential Livery of Blues, White and Mirrored Chrome, just like Air Force One.


I'm tellin' ya, this is a great fucking idea!

Dubya Comes to KC



Mike Hendricks over at The Star had some of the same observations I do. But I'm not beholden to any corporate masters, so I am able to express much the same point of view with greater eloquence and color.

WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE-NOZZLE!! Bush spent last night at The Intercontinental on The Counry Clup Plaza in midtown. This morning, at 7:50am, the inconsiderate asshole closes off a major commuter artery into downtown KC at the height of rush hour so that his security entourage could motor 15 minutes north of KC to have breakfast with some local politicos and celebrities (like George Brett, Carl Petersen, Kitt Bond, Sam Graves, Tery Dunn and Ann Dickenson)at a diner in Parkville. Where he had ONE FUCKING BUISCUIT!

Bush may as well have stood up in the sun-roof of the presidential limosine and used both hands to flip off everyone made late to work by his political photo op while yelling "I'M PRESIDENT BUSH! FUCK ALL Y'ALL!!! HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES?!?!?!"

What an asshat. Hey, here's a thought. Next time, how about all of you sycophants looking to jack off the president get in your own cars and motor on down to where the president is staying and have breakfast with him there? Huh?

Nobody has held up traffic for George Brett since 1985. Carl Petersen, Kitt Bond and Sam Graves can take their chances in rush hour traffic like everyone else. I'm betting The Intercontinental on The Plaza can put on a pretty impressive breakfast spread. Especially if all the president wants is A FUCKING BISCUIT!!

Blogger Meat Up Review

I just love these things. It's always so nice to see everyone. I am making this post while giving a 2nd listen to the Poncho Sanchez "Do It!" CD that Lee Ingalls traded me for my 75th St Brew Jam "9 Years Under The Covers" CD. You rawk Lee! Thanks!

This isn't from the CD. This is even better. This is Poncho Sanchez with Tito Fuente.

Quantcast

Charlie Hoopers was nice. It is a sentimental favorite for me. I used to live at 65th and Oak and Charlie Hooper's is where I went to mourn (i.e. throw back shots of bourbon until I told everyone in the bar how much "I love you guys" and then staggered home) the night John Lennon was shot. Mark David Chapman is an ass. He had a loaded gun and Yoko Ono was RIGHT FUCKING THERE and he didn't even try to hit the bitch.

Bastard.

But it was still REALLY LOUD! I would love to find a place where we can all converse at conversational tones and not have to yell over each other and ambient bar noise for hours on end. That just wears me out.

But that's because I'm really fucking old. Maybe we should see if we can have the next event on the shuffle board court at John Knox Village. Maybe THAT would be more to my fucking liking.

Anyway, I enjoyed seeing all of the regulars again and meeting the newbies.

REALLY sorry I missed out on the chick-kissing-pseudo-lesbian action because I live for that shit.

Oh, and for all of you who got something from the NASA Grab Bag, if you post a picture of it on your blog and email me to let me know it's there, I will leave a comment and give you the history of the item.

Faith's Fiance got one of the Grand Prizes. You just can't go wrong with a Senator John Glenn Action Figure.

For those of you who didn't get anything, look me up at the next Blog Meat. I'll invite you to close your eyes and reach into my Magic Bag, because I got sumthin' for ya!


Heh heh heh.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Misty Horner BUMP

Just to keep this in focus. I will probably have to create a separate blog just for this topic. I am not letting this go.

I don't know why this case doesn't get more attention. But I aim to change that.
Everything about this case pisses me off and makes me want to puke.

I think I'll have to add a new hobby to my profile. "Photography, playing my congas, doing everything I can to make sure that John and Caleb Horner get sent to a 'pound me in the ass' prison to rot until they die of ass cancer and septic shock."

The following background was from reporting done by KMBC.

"Misty Horner died on Jan. 9, apparently of septic shock. The month before, she had delivered a stillborn child in her Lee’s Summit home.

“Misty had contractions from Saturday all the way through to Friday,” Moore said. “A whole week.”

At the end of that week, on Friday, Dec. 1, the baby came out breach and was hanging out backward, caught at the neck, Moore said.

“(Caleb) didn’t know what the heck he’s doing — he has no medical training, he’s not a doctor, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He takes the scissors and cuts her and performs an episiotomy. The baby finally comes out, and the baby’s dead,” Moore said.

After that, she said her friend became ill suffering from septic shock.

“The medical examiner told Caleb, ‘Caleb I understand your beliefs. All it will take is an antibiotic and Misty will be OK,’ and Caleb said no,” Moore said.

A month later, Misty Horner died
."




This all happened seven fucking months ago. Seven months in which the Lee's Summit Police Department has been dragging it's feet, covering it's ass and doing everything it possibly could to protect one of its own who is clearly guilty of practicing medicine without a license, spousal abuse and, in my humble opinion, manslaughter and possibly even pre-meditated murder. With his brother John as an accomplice and co-conspiritor.

Only now, have prosecutors gotten involved. From The Kansas City Star:

"Prosecutors have taken up the investigation into the death of a policeman’s wife who refused medical treatment as she battled infection following the still-born delivery of her baby.

A spokesman for Jackson County Prosecutor Jim Kanatzar said today that the office was reviewing the deaths of Misty Horner and her baby, Sydney, but declined to comment further.

That acknowledgement comes after police spent more than seven months investigating the deaths. The case generated widespread interest because the Horner family shunned medical attention as part of their religious beliefs, and because of Caleb Horner’s position as a Lee’s Summit police officer.

Misty Horner, 30, died Jan. 9 in their home. A month earlier, she delivered her stillborn daughter, Sydney Kay. Over that month, several family members and friends visited with Misty Horner, and have told The Star that they noticed her weakening health. Some say they pleaded with Horner and her husband to go to the hospital. But the couple continually refused, citing their religious beliefs, they said.

Police were called to the home Dec. 31 on reports that Misty Horner was “very sick” and possibly dying. She refused aid from paramedics.

A Missouri death certificate lists her cause of death as blood poisoning and infection that spread to her heart and uterus following the stillborn delivery
.

The Mansfields (Misty's parents -XO) have said they felt that their daughter was brainwashed and that someone should be held accountable.

“You can say that your religious belief is to throw a baby into a volcano as human sacrifice,” Darrell Mansfield said. “But that doesn’t make it legal
.”"


The Horners are a bunch of backwater, trailer-trash, hillbilly fucktards whose cultish religious beliefs are killing people. They, and anyone else in the Lee's Summit Police Department or City Government who in any way helped to cover Horner asses, need to be dragged in front of the courts and held accountable for the blood on their hands.

I have LOTS of questions that I'm hoping some of my readers can help answer. This is one time when I actually ENCOURAGE anonymous commentors. All I ask is that you cite sources if possible and help us get some justice done.

Q1: Who the fuck is John Horner?
Q2: Where did John Horner get his religious instruction?
Q3: Is this "Horner Cult" a subset of some recognizable religious denomination? Seventh Day Adventists? Christian Scientists? Jehovah's Witnesses? Mormons? Does anybody know?
Q4: If the "Horner Cult" IS affiliated with a more mainstream denomination, what is that denominations position on the "Horner Cult"? Do they endorse it, embrace it, condemn it? What?
Q5: Where, exactly, is this "church" in eastern Jackson County? I might be interested in attending a service. Maybe they can save my soul from eternal damnation. Shouldn't saving sinners be a larger calling than secrecy? I'm a sinner. Send me an invitation, John. I would LOVE to hear you preach!
Q6: Does this "Horner Cult" have some other name? What do they call themselves?
Q7: How many members does this "church" have?
Q8: Does this "church" enjoy tax exempt status? Isn't that public information?
Q9: Only the teachings about avoiding ACTUAL, PROVEN, SCIENTIFIC MEDICAL CARE in favor of some wacked out cop with a pair of scissors and a prayer have come to light in the news. What other interesting teachings might we find interesting? Enlighten us, John Horner. Come forth and share your divine wisdom!
Q10: How can people be so fucking stupid?

If my younger brother came to me and told me he had received some sort of instruction from God and that me and my family should do whatever he says...I would bitch-slap that ignorant fucker, steal his wallet and kick him into rush hour traffic.

I just have NO PATIENCE and ZERO TOLERANCE for ignorant, superstitious, mystical, supernatural, mind-controlling, domineering, abusive, controlling BULLSHIT! Whether it somes from The Pope or John Horner. It is all the same.

Let's put these sonsabitches behind bars, where they belong.

If you are as outraged by this case as I am, and if you have any information to share, post a comment or send me an email.

I really, REALLY want to see justice done.

BLOG MEAT UPDATE BUMP!

UPDATE: For my fellow NASA Nerds (you know who you are), I will bringing a "no purchase required", "no strings attached", "absolutely free" NASA Grab Bag. Definitely a bunch of mission patches. Maybe some old NASA publications. Maybe both. Maybe some other stuff too.

"Monthly Meetup Info!

What: Monthly Blogger Meetup

When: Tuesday, August 21st - 5 p.m. till whenever you wanna leave!

Where: Charlie Hooper's in Brookside (12 W. 63rd Street, KC, MO 64113)


Goodies: $1 domestic draws & $1, $2, and $3 appetizers from 3 - 7 p.m. (Stuff like pizzas, spin dip, and jalapeno poppers...yum!)

Hooper's is ready to give us several tables in the "back section" (really, it's the west side of the restaurant...), and as more people show up they'll give us more tables, and if some leave and they need the tables for other people, we just have to be willing to share, is all. I was assured that we would not be given dirty looks for our comings and goings on, and that the server would be prepared for all of our separate check needs. (Be sure to mention it to them when you arrive, too, though. Just to be nice. :)


Hooper's is on the corner of Main St and 63rd St in the heart of Brookside. Just go down Wornall from whichever direction you'll be coming from, head east on 63rd, and turn left on Main. There's a big parking lot behind the strip the bar is located in, so you can park there if you'd like."


I'd like to extend a SPECIAL INVITATION to "blogless commentors". Whether you do so anonymously or actually go to the trouble to create a pseudonym. Come on out and join us! Most of us are much more polite, much less reactionary and much more sociable in person than we are on our blogs.

Well, everyone except emaw.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Daily Show vs. Dick Cheney

Tip o' the hat to my buddy Eric at Secrets of the Red 7 (yeah, I have no idea what that means either) for turning me on to this clip.

BLOG MEAT!

I'm cutting and pasting this from Faith's blog (because I'm lazy like that):

"Monthly Meetup Info!

What: Monthly Blogger Meetup

When: Tuesday, August 21st - 5 p.m. till whenever you wanna leave!

Where: Charlie Hooper's in Brookside (12 W. 63rd Street, KC, MO 64113)


Goodies: $1 domestic draws & $1, $2, and $3 appetizers from 3 - 7 p.m. (Stuff like pizzas, spin dip, and jalapeno poppers...yum!)

Hooper's is ready to give us several tables in the "back section" (really, it's the west side of the restaurant...), and as more people show up they'll give us more tables, and if some leave and they need the tables for other people, we just have to be willing to share, is all. I was assured that we would not be given dirty looks for our comings and goings on, and that the server would be prepared for all of our separate check needs. (Be sure to mention it to them when you arrive, too, though. Just to be nice. :)


Hooper's is on the corner of Main St and 63rd St in the heart of Brookside. Just go down Wornall from whichever direction you'll be coming from, head east on 63rd, and turn left on Main. There's a big parking lot behind the strip the bar is located in, so you can park there if you'd like."


I'd like to extend a SPECIAL INVITATION to "blogless commentors". Whether you do so anonymously or actually go to the trouble to create a pseudonym. Come on out and join us! Most of us are much more polite, much less reactionary and much more sociable in person than we are on our blogs.

Well, everyone except emaw.

The Case of Misty Horner

I don't know why this case doesn't get more attention. But I aim to change that.
Everything about this case pisses me off and makes me want to puke.

I think I'll have to add a new hobby to my profile. "Photography, playing my congas, doing everything I can to make sure that John and Caleb Horner get sent to a 'pound me in the ass' prison to rot until they die of ass cancer and septic shock."

The following background was from reporting done by KMBC.

"Misty Horner died on Jan. 9, apparently of septic shock. The month before, she had delivered a stillborn child in her Lee’s Summit home.

“Misty had contractions from Saturday all the way through to Friday,” Moore said. “A whole week.”

At the end of that week, on Friday, Dec. 1, the baby came out breach and was hanging out backward, caught at the neck, Moore said.

“(Caleb) didn’t know what the heck he’s doing — he has no medical training, he’s not a doctor, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He takes the scissors and cuts her and performs an episiotomy. The baby finally comes out, and the baby’s dead,” Moore said.

After that, she said her friend became ill suffering from septic shock.

“The medical examiner told Caleb, ‘Caleb I understand your beliefs. All it will take is an antibiotic and Misty will be OK,’ and Caleb said no,” Moore said.

A month later, Misty Horner died
."




This all happened seven fucking months ago. Seven months in which the Lee's Summit Police Department has been dragging it's feet, covering it's ass and doing everything it possibly could to protect one of its own who is clearly guilty of practicing medicine without a license, spousal abuse and, in my humble opinion, manslaughter and possibly even pre-meditated murder. With his brother John as an accomplice and co-conspiritor.

Only now, have prosecutors gotten involved. From The Kansas City Star:

"Prosecutors have taken up the investigation into the death of a policeman’s wife who refused medical treatment as she battled infection following the still-born delivery of her baby.

A spokesman for Jackson County Prosecutor Jim Kanatzar said today that the office was reviewing the deaths of Misty Horner and her baby, Sydney, but declined to comment further.

That acknowledgement comes after police spent more than seven months investigating the deaths. The case generated widespread interest because the Horner family shunned medical attention as part of their religious beliefs, and because of Caleb Horner’s position as a Lee’s Summit police officer.

Misty Horner, 30, died Jan. 9 in their home. A month earlier, she delivered her stillborn daughter, Sydney Kay. Over that month, several family members and friends visited with Misty Horner, and have told The Star that they noticed her weakening health. Some say they pleaded with Horner and her husband to go to the hospital. But the couple continually refused, citing their religious beliefs, they said.

Police were called to the home Dec. 31 on reports that Misty Horner was “very sick” and possibly dying. She refused aid from paramedics.

A Missouri death certificate lists her cause of death as blood poisoning and infection that spread to her heart and uterus following the stillborn delivery
.

The Mansfields (Misty's parents -XO) have said they felt that their daughter was brainwashed and that someone should be held accountable.

“You can say that your religious belief is to throw a baby into a volcano as human sacrifice,” Darrell Mansfield said. “But that doesn’t make it legal
.”"


The Horners are a bunch of backwater, trailer-trash, hillbilly fucktards whose cultish religious beliefs are killing people. They, and anyone else in the Lee's Summit Police Department or City Government who in any way helped to cover Horner asses, need to be dragged in front of the courts and held accountable for the blood on their hands.

I have LOTS of questions that I'm hoping some of my readers can help answer. This is one time when I actually ENCOURAGE anonymous commentors. All I ask is that you cite sources if possible and help us get some justice done.

Q1: Who the fuck is John Horner?
Q2: Where did John Horner get his religious instruction?
Q3: Is this "Horner Cult" a subset of some recognizable religious denomination? Seventh Day Adventists? Christian Scientists? Jehovah's Witnesses? Mormons? Does anybody know?
Q4: If the "Horner Cult" IS affiliated with a more mainstream denomination, what is that denominations position on the "Horner Cult"? Do they endorse it, embrace it, condemn it? What?
Q5: Where, exactly, is this "church" in eastern Jackson County? I might be interested in attending a service. Maybe they can save my soul from eternal damnation. Shouldn't saving sinners be a larger calling than secrecy? I'm a sinner. Send me an invitation, John. I would LOVE to hear you preach!
Q6: Does this "Horner Cult" have some other name? What do they call themselves?
Q7: How many members does this "church" have?
Q8: Does this "church" enjoy tax exempt status? Isn't that public information?
Q9: Only the teachings about avoiding ACTUAL, PROVEN, SCIENTIFIC MEDICAL CARE in favor of some wacked out cop with a pair of scissors and a prayer have come to light in the news. What other interesting teachings might we find interesting? Enlighten us, John Horner. Come forth and share your divine wisdom!
Q10: How can people be so fucking stupid?

If my younger brother came to me and told me he had received some sort of instruction from God and that me and my family should do whatever he says...I would bitch-slap that ignorant fucker, steal his wallet and kick him into rush hour traffic.

I just have NO PATIENCE and ZERO TOLERANCE for ignorant, superstitious, mystical, supernatural, mind-controlling, domineering, abusive, controlling BULLSHIT! Whether it somes from The Pope or John Horner. It is all the same.

Let's put these sonsabitches behind bars, where they belong.

If you are as outraged by this case as I am, and if you have any information to share, post a comment or send me an email.

I really, REALLY want to see justice done.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Lying, Murderous, Hypocritical, Bastards

This has been posted on lots of other sites. I'm just spreading the word.

Cheney et al knew THIRTEEN YEARS AGO why we shouldn't invade Iraq and what would happen if we did.



This should be EXIBIT A at The War Crimes Tribunal at The Hague for the Bush Administration.

Holding these ignorant bastards accountable would be the first step towards restoring our relationships with other countries around the world.

An Interesting Vacation


It was 1978 or 1979. So I was what? 23? 24?

I had a high school buddy who had prematurely embraced the entrepreneurial vibrancy of the coming Reagan years.

He was involved in the acquisition and distribution of some recreational dietary supplement products, the nature of which was never clear to me.

But he needed to make a trip to LA and he wanted a Wing Man. I was currently "between assignments" with no pressing social or financial obligations, so I agreed to tag along at his expense (being without resources of my own).

He had made a transportation arrangement with a friend of his. We'll call him "Buddy". Buddy had recently joined the U.S. Navy. After completing his initial training somewhere down in Florida, he had driven back home to Missouri to visit his family on his way to San Diego. The deal was, my friend would drive Buddy's 1972, red and white, Gran Torino from Missouri out to San Diego and deliver it to him at the Naval Air Station there.

It was a 'win/win' situation for everybody.

Buddy got to spend more time with his family and fly to San Diego a few days later.

My friend got the use of a way cool car to transport him to the West Coast for his nefarious business purposes.

I got a completely free ride as Shotgun Rider and Wing Man.

Oh Happy Day!

For those of you who don't remember, Starsky and Hutch


drove a red and white Gran Torino.


so we started out cool.

We envisioned a Classic Road trip along the lines of "Vanishing Point" with Barry Newman.



We re-christened the car "The Millenium Falcon" and hit the road in search of adventure!


In retrospect, perhaps the re-christening was ill advised.

Somewhere around Salina, KS the car started overheating and having problems.


Had to have the radiator flushed and a new thermostat. "Buddy" didn't tell us we would be driving an ill-maintained piece of shit!


It took us more than 3 days just to get across Kansas. Thank God for honest mechanics!



We finally got back on the road and made it to Colorado without further incident.

Until we tried to take a car that had spent it's life at sea level in Florida across 11,000 foot PLUS Loveland Pass in Colorado.

Fucking "Millenium Falcon" started overheating, popping hoses and blowing steam just like the 'REAL' Millenium Falcon trying to warp out of danger.


This is me keeping my friend company while he pretends to know anything about cars.


This is me pretending to know more than I actually do about broken down cars.


This is me hitting on a not-completely-repulsive-chick holding the STOP/SLOW signs at the construction site of the Eisenhower-Johnson Tunnel which was still under construction and preventing us from taking the easy way out.

We called a tow truck driver who gave us some horror story about reworking the carburetor and other mysterious mechanical devices over the course of several days and several hundred dollars in order to get us over the Continental Divide.

As I recall, we wound up coasting about 10 miles down the mountain to Georgetown, CO where we had a bite to eat, a couple of drinks and time for contemplation.

After much due deliberation and consideration, we abandoned the Millenineum Falcon "in place" and hitched a ride to the Denver Airport where my friend secured air passage to Newport Beach, CA.

He phoned "Buddy" from the airport and left a message on his answering machine informing him that his piece of shit Gran Torino was sitting in Georgetown, CO and that he should make arrangements for retrieval of such as soon as circumstances allowed.

Ciao, baby!

We spent the next week at the Marriott Newport Beach



My friend spent his time playing tennis, while I spent my time on a Holy Quest to find the best margarita on Balboa Island.

After much searching, and much drinking, I finally found the Holy Grail at a little place called "The Tale Of The Whale".

Not only was it a quaint little local place with an interesting history, but (as I recall some 20 years later) the back of the bar was open to the dock, you could rent a pole and buy bait, and fish in the ocean while a waitress brought you munchies and drinks!

I could have spent the rest of my life there!

But, I almost forgot the coolest thing about the whole trip. A completely unexpected brush with greatness.

On the flight from Denver to LA, I saw someone who looked familiar. He was wearing blue cowbow boots and that caught my eye as being unusual.

When we got to LAX, I saw the guy exit the plane, go through the same lines as us, claim his luggage just like us, and go sit on the bench waiting for a bus, just like us.

As I'm sitting next to him, I finally get the nerve to ask...

"Did anyone ever tell you you look JUST LIKE Slim Pickens?"


He replies, "Sometimes I feel like him!"

Yep! That's him! Blue-shark-skin-cowboy-boot-wearing-A-bomb-riding-shovel-hitting-Slim-Fucking-Pickens! Sitting on the LAX bus bench next to yours truly.

Look up the definition of 'serendipity', and it will have this picture of me and Slim sittting on a bus bench as a prime example.

Red State Update

Sayonara Karl Rove

Tuesday Night at The Girlfriend's

I went over to the GF's after work, got freshened up a bit and we went out in search of dinner. Didn't have anything in particular in mind, she was driving, and I was up for anything.

We wound up at The Jersusalem Cafe. She had been there before, I had not. In fact, with the exception of some sort of candied date delicacy that an Iranian student at Penn Valley shared with me back in the '70's, I had never had any middle eastern cuisine at all. Because you know, once Americans start choosing falafel over cheeseburgers, the terrorists have already won.

For starters, we had some Krass (spinach, feta cheese and onions, rolled in phyllo pastry & baked to a golden crisp) and some Baba Ghanouj (pronounced 'baba ganoosh'...say it! It's just fun to say. 'BABA GHANOUJ'. If I ever decide to give my daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis a little brother, I think I'll name him Baba Ghanouj Onassis...has a nice ring to it!).

For dinner, she had Mousaka (layers of eggplant, ground beef, tomato sauce, a mixture of cheese, potato and bechamel sauce. Baked to perfection), and I had the Jerusalem Kifta Plate (fresh lean ground beef mixed with parsley & onions, marinated in a tahini sauce & mediterranean spices, topped with potatoes, carrots, mushrooms & green peppers).

Goddamn that was some good eatin'!! We were too stuffed to have any baklava.
After dinner, we went by the video store and rented "300" and "I Think I Love My Wife".

Loved 300.


"Messenger: Who does this woman think she is that she can speak among men?
Queen Gorgo: Because only Spartan women give birth to real men.

Messenger: A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Stelios: Then we will fight in the shade.

Persian Officer: Spartans, lay down your weapons.
Spartan King Leonidas: Persians! Come and get them!

Dilios is putting a patch over his eye
Spartan King Leonidas: Dilios, I trust that "scratch" hasn't made you useless.
Dilios: Hardly, my lord, it's just an eye. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare.

Xerxes: Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet... if you but kneel at mine.
Spartan King Leonidas: That is quite an offer. Only a mad man would refuse it. But this kneeling business... I'm afraid killing all those slaves of yours has left me with a nasty cramp in my leg.

Xerxes: Consider the fate of your women.
Spartan King Leonidas: Clearly you don't know our women! I might as well have marched them up here judging by what I've seen."

I'd seen it before, she hadn't. I can watch the same movie over and over again if I like it. She's mostly a "once and done" kinda gal.

Then we watched the other movie. 'Nuff said about the other movie.

I'm a simple man. At my age there are few things that bring me greater joy than just snuggling with the woman I love and watching a movie.

I was feeling so warm and fuzzy that after we went to bed and were blissfully 'spooning', I felt an overwhelming urge to share my feelings. I told her (as I often do), how very much I love her. I told her that when I'm not around her, I feel incomplete...it feels like a piece of me is missing.

She said, "Yeah, when I'm not around your BRAIN is missing!"

I reminded her of what a colossal BITCH she is and we giggled ourselves to sleep in each other's arms.

Later, when she was sound asleep and snoring like a drunken truck driver, I farted and held the covers over her head.

Ahhh, memories!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Bad News, Good News and Mini Movie Review



The bad news is it's hotter than the surface of the fucking sun and my AC unit went tits up this weekend.

The good news is I rent and my landlady is a saint. If I owned the house, I'd have been facing major repair costs that I can't afford. Instead, I just called Sherri who made arrangements to have both the AC and heater replaced entirely with brand new, shiny, high-efficiency units that will save me money. And, she put me up in a local hotel while the units were being replaced.

When I got home from work tonight, the crew was just finishing up. At 6pm the temp inside the house was 95 degrees. I decided to go grab a bite to eat and watch a movie while the AC tried to play catch up.

Saw "Stardust". Whenever I watch a movie alone, I try to pick one that neither my daughter or girlfriend would want to watch with me. Plus, I just finished the book not too long ago. I enjoyed it! Very "Princess Bride-ish".

When I got home 3 hours later the temp in the house was only down to 85. Right now the thermostat says 83, but the hallway is considerably warmer than my bedroom. With a fan in there, I should be fine.

Spending tomorrow night at the gf's, so no more blog activity until Wed night.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Thursday, August 09, 2007

A New Family Tradition

My daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis was over last night. Just me and her. She usually brings a friend with her, so it was nice to have some quality time together, just the two of us.

Before I moved from Richmond to Liberty, we used to have a regular Monday Night date. She'd come over to the house, we would order pizza and watch Fear Factor. We would snarf down pizza and buffalo wings while the contestants drank pig bile and crunched on Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches.

Well, we haven't been doing anything like that lately. She's older and she's busy with friends. Being a popular 13 year old, text-messaging cheerleader doesn't leve as much time for dad as it used to.

But last night I started a new tradition. Think of it as the Home Version of Mystery Science Theater.

She has developed a taste for horror movies lately. So I suggested that we rent really old horror movies that were supposed to be scary at the time, but are now just dumb and we can watch them together and make fun of them.

I told her ahead of time, "If it's fun, we'll make this a regular event. If it's lame and stupid, we'll pretend it never happened and we won't speak of it again."

Our inaugural selection for Bad Movie Night was "The Thing With Two Heads".


She seemed to genuinely enjoy it.

I think the next selection should be "The Amazing Colossal Man"

Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Greatest Gift

No, I'm not talking about some spiritual, inspirational mumbo jumbo.

I'm not even talking about Steak & Blow Job Day.

I'm talking about the coolest present I ever got.

Well, wait, I take that back.

The absolute coolest present I ever got was my Logitech Harmony H659 Universal Remote that my girlfriend got me because she loves me so much!


Oh yeah, baby!! I want to watch TV? I just press the button that says "Watch TV", shit starts coming on and I'm watching TV. I decide I want to watch a DVD? I just push the button that says "Watch a movie" and the TV shit switches off, the DVD stuff switches on and the CD drawer glides open like my ex-wife's legs at Happy Hour.

But I digress.

I was talking about what I guess is actually the Second Greatest Gift I ever got.

Many years ago my mom gave me two really cool Christmas presents. Now normally, our exchange of Christmas gifts involves a lot of whatever was in the clearance aisle at Dollar General on Christmas Eve. We eat, we swap cheap gifts and we say goodbye till next year. Whole process takes less than two hours.

So anyway, I open these two packages and this is what they contained


Two boxes of Glass Plate Negatives.

For those of you who don't know, between 1880 and as late as WWII, glass plate negatives were pretty much state of the art in photography. The plates themselves were 4" x 5" putting them in what we would call medium format today. A much larger negative surface than the 35mm negatives. That means they can capture a LOT more detail.

My mom knew I was into photography and I have my own darkroom. She found these at some old antique store/flea market in Excelsior Springs and thought I might like them.

So without even knowing what was on them, this was really fucking cool! I couldn't wait to herd the family out the door and head for the darkroom to see what was on these bad boys.

Now, my 2nd hand Omega enlarger works just fine for 35mm. But I don't have a negative carrier big enough to handle a 4x5 glass plate. So must of these images are "contact prints". That means that I just layed the 4x5 negative flat on a piece of 5x7 photo paper and exposed it. I had to really play with the exposure, contrast, filters and do a bit of burning and dodging sometimes, but I was pretty amazed by what I had.

They all seem to date from around the turn of the last century (early 1900s) and they all seem to be taken in the general Clay County area. That was verified by a gentleman at the Clay County Historical Society when he verified my suspicion that these first three photos were taken on the grounds of the old International Order of Odd Fellow (I.O.O.F.) Home for the Aged here in Liberty. That's that big old brick mansion looking place just to the east of 291 just south of 33. See if you recognize it. (click on the photos to embiggen!)





The other evidence that these were taken in the area in the early 1900s was the next five pictures which were all taken up at Watkins Mill at one of the annual fox hunts sponsored by the Missouri Vally Foxhunters Association.







One of my favorite photos of the lot was this next one. It was taken in winter, the ground was covered in icy snow, a couple of guys are cutting blocks of ice out of the pond in the background as three women dressed in black move off to the left. There is just something eerie and haunting about this image that I really like.


But a lot of them were just pictures taken of family members around a rural home.






Now, since that last image contained a lot of sheep, I should probably step in here and just let Faith know that this next picture is NOT some primitive, rural sex swing. Sometimes, Faith, a swing is just a swing.


This next picture just proves to me that people took recreational drugs in the early 1900s. Either that, or "avant garde" meant something different back then. Take a look at this.


You have a woman holding a baby next to a man with a push mower. To the right is a mother and child standing next to a man holding a guitar. Now look at the perspective. Who ever set up this bizarre pose with the musician and the groundskeeper seemed to think that the only way to capture the mood was to lie down in the leaves and dirt to take the shot.

What. The. Fuck?!?

Of all the pictures in the collection, it is the next one that haunts me the most. This young girl standing outside her home.


I can't remember exactly how I did it, but I managed to get enough of the glass plate into my negative carrier to zoom in on this girl and make a nice enlargement. This is a good example of just how much detail was captured on these old glass plates.


Click on the photo and look at the big version. You can count her freckles. You can almost read the inscription on the locket around her neck.

Who was this girl? Did she grow up and get married? Have kids? Does she have descendants who still live in the area?

I'll probably never know.

I've been looking for more of these glass plates ever since, but haven't been able to find any. I'll keep looking.